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@ElectronsBro
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Friends: 252
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@ElectronsBro's (Luke) most faved Tweets...
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If I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.
@
ElectronsBro
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Riddle me this: How do people ever reach the decision to buy a magic 8 ball?
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ElectronsBro
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Dear architect who put a fan on this low ceiling: I am going to strangle you in your sleep.
...
Right after I get my new prosthetic hands.
@
ElectronsBro
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Kids these days don't understand the value of a star.
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ElectronsBro
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Idea: To boost sales at a kid's lemonade stand, have an adult open a competing stand right next to it.
@
ElectronsBro
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If you're surprised Sarah Palin could write a 400 page memoir, let me reassure you it's in size 16 font and there's a lot of pictures.
@
ElectronsBro
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My cousin came out as gay today, but I'm pretty sure he just forgot to log out of his Facebook account.
@
ElectronsBro
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Guys, if I am fired for starring your tweets all day, I think it's only fair you let me stay at your places until I'm on my feet again.
@
ElectronsBro
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I will listen to our American tweeps complain about poor spelling when they renounce American English.
It's a matter of honour with a 'u.'
@
ElectronsBro
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Would it be more apt to describe our use of twitter as a circlejerk or a pyramid scheme that involves a lot of jerking?
@
ElectronsBro
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A mate told me about 'turducken' today. It's now on my list of things to eat (above blue-rare buffalo steak and below Scarlett Johansson).
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ElectronsBro
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When your only tool is a meme, every problem looks like a number of other tweets earlier that day.
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ElectronsBro
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Before Facebook, I never realised so many people had birthdays.
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ElectronsBro
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If I had a dollar for every time I had passionate, sweaty, hair-pulling, back-scratching sex, I would have three dollars.
@
ElectronsBro
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I would never be so crude as to watch sports during sex! I'm more of an international news man.
@
ElectronsBro
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You know, the only reason emos are so mopey is because everyone hates them. It's a vicious cycle.
@
ElectronsBro
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I bet Moe Szyslak's November 2009 edition of Playboy is already impossible to open without tearing the pages.
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ElectronsBro
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If I got to run Hell for a day, I would throw toilet paper all over the place and make everyone roll it back up.
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ElectronsBro
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I was stopped at every red light in the city this morning.
The evidence I'm living in the Truman Show is stacking up at a phenomenal rate.
@
ElectronsBro
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My new office is really small, but the boss has poked some holes in the lid so I can breath.
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ElectronsBro
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