Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Control freak seeks personal assistant. You wouldn't have to do anything, because you'd probably fuck it up.
Dear Suzy, seashells are free. Signed, everyone at the seashore.
I'm looking for a boyfriend... Slash designated driver.
Even autocorrect has no idea where I'm going with this.
I'm one bad date away from buying a cat for every year I've been alive, and calling it a day.
I'm 32 which is about 26 in man years.
At this point, we're staying together for the cats.
I want to build a man cave in my basement. And by cave I mean trap.
Got P90X two weeks ago and already I've lost $150.
It's been a long day... I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a guy. Standing in front of a girl. In front of another guy. Wait, I'm actually in line. Sorry.
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Thankfully, I'm too much of a control freak to ever let my OCD get out of hand.
The best hangover cure is water, Gatorade, carbs, coffee, kill yourself.
I feel like I should write for a ridiculous TV show that doesn't exist.
Why is it the moment you fall out of love with someone is the moment they decide they want me? I mean, you.
Actions speak louder than staring in your window all night with these binoculars.
You keep on using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
If I were a superhero, my superpower would be parallel parking.
I'm so money, and I don't even know it.
even autocorrect has no idea where i'm going with this.