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Meteor shower still lighting up the sky. Moronic neighbors put lights on to watch . Shoot me, stars , shoot me now.
When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui .My husband will be so upset that he has to drop out of college.
Practicing my imitation of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. I'll answer my phone this way to all bill collectors. Will Report back.
@stpaulrevere "I just thought it would be nice to have a pretty wall around my garden, but this is ok too." Qin Shi Huang, 210 BC
I refuse to say I'm old. BUT It's a little depressing when you see a really hot hot guy in his 30's &think " I wonder if he has a father."
"Hitler, he only had 1 ball. Stalin had 2 but
rather small,Himmler was somewhat similar& poor Goebbels had no balls at all.. " just sayin'
Do you know how finely you have to chop your wife up to fit her in a normal-sized pumpkin shell? -- Peter, 1825
In the South, we let our crazy relatives enjoy life. In the North, we used to keep them in the attic. In Maine, we elect 'em Governor.
@alanfelyk Ok, so Now I'm in love with both you and Russell. Going to get the book. Want to converse with you about a play based on it.
I nominate @funnyorfact for a Shorty Award in #comedian because...it's a hoot and half... http://t.co/oJn3sb7I
Some people must be born to be assholes. but that does NOT make us their toilet paper.
Took 4 Year old to shop" Why is that baby so ugly? Oh, Never mind the poor Mama is ugly too." LOUD WHISPER
If you notice that you seem to be looking out from someone else's belly button, you might just be taking kissing up a bit too far.
As a life rule, I try not to solve any riddles that may open the portals to hell. #halloweeniscoming
TinyFiction,long opinions,sarcasm at any hour & common sense, Hellion, rabble rouser,bleeding heart liberal & still hoping for one good man or bad, w/pulse
