Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 181
Followers: 208
Favs Given: 1,199
Favs Rec'd: 484
@EmmKay13's (Emily) most faved Tweets...
EmmKay13
Santa: Sorry, Timmy, but I can't fix your parents' inability to read housing market trends.
@EmmKay13
EmmKay13
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I’m gonna be pissed.
@EmmKay13
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DearAnyoneMrBigFistsrazorwittedItsTheStepsterevrythingmustgoRyan_PleasesucittaMPaulineTVdrewmongeDoogieHowser_MDGreeblemonkeyThatHatebedheadblondeOverlandParkerWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
When I said you can't buy my love, I meant it's not possible with your salary.
@EmmKay13
13
Ryan_Pleaseiamnotdiddyblondediva11The_Sock_PuppetPaulineTVpaulrajmGreeblemonkeystevewhitakerbedheadblondedanagelWadetoBlackThaozillaColin_McCormick
EmmKay13
"Well, it's like sucking your thumb. Only it's not yours. And it's a penis."
@EmmKay13
11
thesulkblondediva11joeschmittRyan_PleaseGreeblemonkeyThatHatebedheadblondedanagelWadetoBlackThaozillaColin_McCormick
EmmKay13
Reason #3 why women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
@EmmKay13
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Ryan_PleaseNFS2912ashamedtosaybestgirlbettyStillDrewGreeblemonkeybedheadblondeWadetoBlackColin_McCormick
EmmKay13
My milkshake brings only 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard.
@EmmKay13
8
Ryan_PleasedesignbuffThe_Sock_PuppetbigeasydrewmongepaulrajmstevewhitakerColin_McCormick
EmmKay13
Remember, it's not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
@EmmKay13
7
mannyteeebedheadblondeWadetoBlackfschoeningTheReal_ZoMbiERanGTColin_McCormick
EmmKay13
I just want you to know that I will be your friend no matter what you put inside your anus.
@EmmKay13
7
WadetoBlackjoeschmittRyan_PleasestevewhitakerThatHatebedheadblondeRanGT
EmmKay13
I always wonder how different my life would be had I actually forwarded all those chain e-mails.
@EmmKay13
7
Ryan_PleaseiamnotdiddypaulrajmGreeblemonkeyimaudiherebedheadblondeWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
At my funeral, it's one of my friends’ jobs to throw themselves dramatically onto my casket.
@EmmKay13
7
designbuffbigeasyTheReal_ZoMbiEpaulrajmGreeblemonkeybedheadblondeWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
Some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
@EmmKay13
7
joeschmittRyan_PleasePaulineTVpaulrajmGreeblemonkeybedheadblondeWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
I'm watching one of those movies where Diane Lane wants me to feel sad that she can't find love.

Look, Diane, I've got my own problems.
@EmmKay13
6
GreeblemonkeythesulkjoeschmittjorshuwahbedheadblondeWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
No, MSN weather. It does NOT feel like 9 degrees outside. It feels like 'fuck that shit, I'm staying inside'. That's what it feels like.
@EmmKay13
6
joeschmittRyan_PleaseStarrlett17GreeblemonkeybedheadblondeWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid my shoe would get stuck.
@EmmKay13
6
Ryan_PleaseThe_Sock_PuppetthesulkTheReal_ZoMbiEGreeblemonkeyWadetoBlack
EmmKay13
You think you're in a bad situation? I'm in a car being forced to listen to Ace of Base.
@EmmKay13
5
PetherwinTheReal_ZoMbiERanGTJerryThomasbedheadblonde
EmmKay13
"Do you want to see Youth In Revolt?" "And see Michael Cera play a raging vagina again? No thanks."
@EmmKay13
5
WadetoBlackjoeschmittbedheadblondeRanGTEsseErre
EmmKay13
I'd really like it if you became a facebook fan of something you've never heard of.
@EmmKay13
5
ImAwake2thesulkRanGTEsseErreJerryThomas
EmmKay13
Look, I'm sorry that my dog humped the baby Jesus on your lawn, but maybe it shouldn't have led him on.
@EmmKay13
5
Ryan_PleasePetherwinThatHatebedheadblondeRanGT
EmmKay13
I don't care that it's 11:45 at night. This is STAR TREK and I want the entire dorm to capture it's awesomeness.
@EmmKay13
5
ImAwake2Ryan_PleaseGreeblemonkeyjoeschmittbedheadblonde
EmmKay13
If Mother Nature were an actual person, you better believe I'd smack that bitch.
@EmmKay13
5
Ryan_PleasebigeasythesulkticklemelolaTheReal_ZoMbiE
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