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any pigeon you see without a note is a carrier pigeon from me and i'm ignoring you
is it illegal to fake your own depth
i do most of my classes online because i don't have enough gum for everyone
How To Lose 240 Hours In 10 Days
i always get teary eyed when im chopping onions bc my dad died chopping onions & he was an onion & why did you have to bring it up anyways
"ya know, like a corn maze" -ikea store designer
my interview for the dishwasher position was going well until the pics of my sink full of peanut butter knives fell out of my briefcase
since i can't be everywhere at once just a quick open gesundheit to all my peeps who sneezed today love you guys
heart like a haunted mansion you inherit if you stay the night
girl are you criterion collection because you've got all the special features & you're a limited edition
a good cure for road rage is picturing the other drivers as ducks then you're like, awww well they're actually doing pretty good considering
if anybody's interested i'm carpooling to clown college & have 63 spots left
while my keytar gently beeps
ya know when you say a word a bunch and it starts sounding really weird a giraffe is the visual version of that
happy 25th birthday internet you don't look a day over mostly racist
in restaurants, "can i plug my phone in" is the new "can we push these tables together"
blood type: icky
my gosh that urban dictionary is run by some bawdy folk
i have a serious 'tude... gratitude
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