To all who feel let down by the leafs, you should consider rooting for me in the game of life because all I do is win #winning

Guys who say they prefer girls without any makeup on probably haven't seen girls without makeup on

Most people who say "work hard, party harder" don't really work hard

When people catch you smelling your own skin and they think it's weird, you know they don't shower with Irish spring. #smellsdelicous

Milfs devour me with their eyes when I go jogging #handsomeProblems

Smoking on 4/20 is a SURE WAY to tell others your parents don't love you and you are going no where in life #420NO #PotKills #doHarderDrugs

might piss off all of my Asian friends but here goes anyways; badminton is tennis's brother with Down syndrome #badminton #sport #tennis

If we were gas particles, we would behave non-ideally due to the strong intermolecular forces between us #nerdpickuplines

My stomach sounds like yoda being slowly crushed in a garbage compressor #ForceIsStrongWithMyStomach

* you think the rape is bad at @yorkuniversity wait till you see the parking prices!! @yorkuproblems @yorkupresoffice #yorkuproblems

Last -and one of my most important- exams tmr #prayforErfan #ErfanFund

Did u know hitler was born on 420 and killed 6 million Jews using marijuana gas chambers?! #420NEIN #420NO #POTKILLS

All these girls just want me for my beard

Tweets of people complaining about staying in and studying on a Friday or Saturday. How are you in university. I eat sat and Fridays for fun

Muslim pickup line: your body is a temple and I want to suicide bomb it for your slightly different beliefs #pickupline #failedPickUpLines

I am unnaturally proud of my beard right now #nationalsiblingsday #inThisTogether #Family #Beard pic.twitter.com/5P6qlLFx6I

Fuck you to all my friends graduating this year! #jk #congratulations

Hey I know the whole yorkdale shooting thing was a tragedy but just trying to find your car in that parking lot is plain murder #yorkdale

I think I like ikea because there aren't a lot of colored workers and that makes me feel #safe

When I don't eat for a while my stomach makes dubstep music @skrillex maybe we could work together