TT @namenlos4 Woman asks the time.
Get my phone out, check WhatsApp, SMS, Twitter, put phone back.
"So what's the time?"
Get my phone out...

RT @theta_aquarii: "A leaked CIA memo reveals that detainees who resisted waterboarding were often then forced to debug Javascript in IE."

@gkeast @phorrest: Some of Stuckey's freak show rivals http://yawoot.com/post/1964 (Thanks for the link, @elisasophia!)

@ruderaccoon MUTTER KENNT NUR ALTSMS GLEICH TELEGRAMM STOP TELEGRAMM IMMER GROSSGESCHRIEBEN STOP TELEGRAMM VER STOP STOP STOP TEUER STOP

@mollydotcom @timtfj @karlbright As Enid Blyton wrote:
It was a cough /
that carried him off. /
It was a coffin /
they carried him off in.

Ingress and Egress congress, cooperate as one, and #artwiculate upon the spot.
The Revolving Door is born.

@mollydotcom The best of any belief system helps its believers express the best of their humanity.
The death of one of us diminishes us all.

Emollient: / Incipient wrinkles came and went; / Now it looks as though they're resident - / Oh, I believed / Emollient!

Zeroing the brain's "inbox": How a nap during the day may improve the brain's ability to absorb new information. BBC News http://is.gd/8Vn29

Multiply concatenated mondegreens of Sciolism resulted in a spurious, but very lucrative, belief system known as Psiolentology.

Each breast was a perfect hemisphere, noted Bond briefly. However, of far greater interest was the pistol in her right hand.

@timtfj I know that, you know that; for Apple it's a discovery. IIRC, indigenous peoples used America some years before Columbus' discovery.

@phorrest: Your @twitter personality: ordinary incurious cautious. Your style: garrulous coherent POET ;o) http://twanalyst.com/phorrest

@timtfj @annhawkins @bigcam01 @clocsen: John Stump "String 4tet No.556(b)--Music for Strings in A Mi. (Motoring Accident)" http://is.gd/qyO2

[especially for @timtfj] RT @bbcscitech: Five answers to the age-old science + God dilemma http://tinyurl.com/dxm6fu

RT@mimismartypants Coworker wants me to meet abt s/thing not due til AUG. Go back to college, you obviously failed Intro to Procrastination.

Retweeting @johncleese: People who use the word irregardless should not be misunderestimated.

Want to be an Evil Underling? Retweeting @karinagw: This is the best job EVER! http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/lab/1001746799.html

RT @firewallender+@barakmich: Two fonts walk into a bar.The bartender says,"Hey!We don't serve your type in here!" So they called the serif.

@gkeast Forum: http://is.gd/3yVd • Tho not VT, Imogen Heap is *brilliant*! Her "Hide&Seek" is a perfectly deep-frozen living nightmare!