Funemployment is a slippery slope. Before you know it, you havent worn a bra in days & youre on a first name basis w/ everyone at Walgreens

"if I sit on a toilet drinking a milkshake it's like the toilets drinking a milkshake" -explains a friend who's lactose intolerant

When people call themselves mommy and daddy on Facebook - I'm not sure why - but it makes me want to throw up.

I believe I'm the only 20-something girl living in north america who has yet to master the jumping photo.

It's Halloween weekend! Time to scare children by jogging in a public park wearing spandex shorts and a sports bra.

The election is two weeks away. Don't forget to vote for prop b. it's a ban on adult braces.

An lovely older woman told me I'm going to be the next Katie Couric. That's cute. Completely untrue, but cute.

@andrewmdooley don't accept. Shell do awkward things like try to have a conversation with you under a friends wall post.

If you really want to break the ice with someone, you should tell them about that time in high school you had the flu and crapped your pants

A republican candidate is wearing an American flag polo tucked into loose fitting khaki shorts.... And people are taking him seriously.

My mom still asks if she can fax things to me.... No.

My grandma is awesome because she keeps no less than three packages of bologna in the refrigerator at any given time.

Just looked at a 5 year olds iPod touch. 4 pages of Disney/Cartoon network apps. 300 pictures of television shows and Justin Bieber posters

I just found a recipe for maple-bacon crunch ice cream.... I now know what winning the lottery feels like.

In case you missed it: I GOT MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH MATES OF STATE. Super fan girl. http://t.co/pnRsX8Dz

A couple just rode past me on a tandem in matching cycling shirts in case you wanted to know what kind of town I live in.

@isaackozell someone's been reading their woman's day magazine.

If you wanted to know how much work goes into beauty, I cut myself shaving my big toe.

Admiring last fall's Goodwill purchases: homely, misshapen sweaters I bought when I ran out of clothes and didn't feel like doing laundry.

Yes. I used the Ys open shower room, so I have no idea why I dont wear anything less than a loose fitting sweater to the beach.