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"If there's one thing I wish I'd learned at 18, it's that it's okay if a crazy person hates you."
“In the end I ruined it by trying to make it beautiful.” —Saul Steinberg
Adult Onset Atheism
"If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."
Seeing as heaven is a construct to distract humans from the inevitability of death, no coworker, I don't think your coffee cup is there now.
"It was the year we opened all our faucets & waited for the sea to bleed to death."
I feel with 11928 on my second try I'm pretty damn good at GeoGuessr.
"Studies show that I'm 658% done with you."
Made a quiche with verrrry questionable ingredient expiration dates. It'll either be totally fine or I won't have to go to work tomorrow.
Chantal: "Sleeping with my finger over my upper lip has become a defense mechanism."
THAT'S MY PHOTO! http://blog.instagram.com/post/45675756338/whp-portraitofahome …
Damn you, pretty sunset! You harbinger of blizzards, destroyer of 50˚ weather.
Italian Luke Skywalker kicks so much ass http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md3ezd4zdV1qa70eyo1_500.jpg …
When she was found her blood kitten concentration measured 1.5%