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"If there's one thing I wish I'd learned at 18, it's that it's okay if a crazy person hates you."
"If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."
Second night in a row tucked up on my couch watching You've Got Mail and reciting every damn line like its my job. #thisplaceisatomb
Seeing as heaven is a construct to distract humans from the inevitability of death, no coworker, I don't think your coffee cup is there now.
"It was the year we opened all our faucets & waited for the sea to bleed to death."
Made a quiche with verrrry questionable ingredient expiration dates. It'll either be totally fine or I won't have to go to work tomorrow.
Chantal: "Sleeping with my finger over my upper lip has become a defense mechanism."
Italian Luke Skywalker kicks so much ass http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md3ezd4zdV1qa70eyo1_500.jpg …