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If Hunter S Thompson was still alive none of this would seem so mundane.
Is it wrong to tell your 7 yr old lying is okay as long as it gets your arch nemesis in trouble?
Not only am I starting with the man in the mirror, I'm going to give him a happy ending
Ugh. At a family reunion. Oh well, better go around and introduce myself
I'm so tired the thought of having to get up to brush my teeth before bed just made me decide to stay up longer
One of those days where I'm not feeling funny & just want to be mean to everyone. Hey girl who just served me coffee, you're ugly.
Just made a scientific discovery- 5 day old corn flakes in the sink smell better than 3 day old fruity pebbles. Also I dont do dishes enough