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there is a story hidden in all tweets...some tell tales of romance, some whisper sorrows, some shout anger, some laugh comedies...find them.

reading some of the tweets sometimes makes you wish condoms were mandatory...

Don't flirt with my tweets...you just might not RT them and break my heart...

Why when your wife gets pregnant, everyone rubs her belly & says "congrats!" But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"? #perkytweets

like paper, you shredded my heart into pieces of confetti...

someone just made me realise why is it so important to save earth...apparently, it is the only planet that has chocolates...

Love is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...

going to toilet is 99% twitter, 1% shit...

so i hear girls adore santa... hmm...so them having daddy issues has nothing to do with this...

Things to say during sex flowchart http://bit.ly/a2r1FT

marriage - where someone is obligated to scratch your back w/o being grossed out about it.

...psychiatrists world over r going out of business as patients learn to express feelings in 140 characters or less to strangers.

popping strepsils like candy...i'm dangerous like that...

why do i have this nagging feeling that the guy who invented the hole in the donut was up to no good...?

i love you. is that reason not enough to piss you off? sigh.

I want one of those jobs where people ask, “Do you actually get paid for doing this?

love is growing old together.

if you still wondering on the chicken and the egg question...it's no point explaining you about world poverty, global hunger, world peace...

i think, i've angered the RT gawds....