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there is a story hidden in all tweets...some tell tales of romance, some whisper sorrows, some shout anger, some laugh comedies...find them.

reading some of the tweets sometimes makes you wish condoms were mandatory...

Why when your wife gets pregnant, everyone rubs her belly & says "congrats!" But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"? #perkytweets

like paper, you shredded my heart into pieces of confetti...

Don't flirt with my tweets...you just might not RT them and break my heart...

Love is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...

someone just made me realise why is it so important to save earth...apparently, it is the only planet that has chocolates...

so i hear girls adore santa... hmm...so them having daddy issues has nothing to do with this...

popping strepsils like candy...i'm dangerous like that...

...psychiatrists world over r going out of business as patients learn to express feelings in 140 characters or less to strangers.

Things to say during sex flowchart http://bit.ly/a2r1FT

marriage - where someone is obligated to scratch your back w/o being grossed out about it.

going to toilet is 99% twitter, 1% shit...

i love you. is that reason not enough to piss you off? sigh.

i think, i've angered the RT gawds....

why do i have this nagging feeling that the guy who invented the hole in the donut was up to no good...?

if you still wondering on the chicken and the egg question...it's no point explaining you about world poverty, global hunger, world peace...

i hate it when america is asleep...nobody else is drunk enough to RT my tweets...sigh.

love is growing old together.