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If I eat this two pound sheet of fudge, the most I can gain is two pounds. That’s how it works, right?
I’m drunk enough. Time to do some PHP.
OH: “He said what brand is your Xbox? I told him it was a Chrysler.”
My kid’s school finally changed their wifi password. Goodbye fast Internet at the playground.
Wherein my daughter gets a standing ovation from the cast for shouting “start the fucking movie” halfway through the previews.
Leyla: “How do you spell giraffe?”
Siri: “The answer is marijuana.”
I need more friends who have nothing to do with:
a) software development,
b) Rocky fucking horror
Portland drinking game: every time there’s a boil notice, take a drink
How to troll my inlaws and half of my dad’s family in one simple tweet…
PHP: today’s reason to drink before noon.
I ate a bunch of crêpes tonight. A crêpeton if you will.