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Leyla: “How do you spell giraffe?”
Siri: “The answer is marijuana.”
I ate a bunch of crêpes tonight. A crêpeton if you will.
My four year old is running a VCR. That’s her generation’s steampunk.
I've had nothing but booze and coffee all year. I should probably rectify that. Or just drink more coffee.
I would do things… unpleasant things… for a Cinnabon right now.
That time of the year when one of my exes randomly starts texting me to say she dumped her loser boyfriend.