@stacibonbon I thought it'd be a hardcore horror, turned out to be pretty soft.

@stacibonbon I feel like we're either soul mates or twins separated at birth. Hopefully both

@stacibonbon I was getting turned on until you said shit... Now I can hardly contain myself

I'm never going to censor my thoughts for any person or setting

"@stacibonbon: “Just because I dress slutty doesn’t mean I am slutty.”" If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck...

@seegilby @stacibonbon Got a sharpie?

@stacibonbon I hope you get kicked in the snout today

I'd like to take this time to congratulate Whitney Houston for being three months sober #GoYou

I believe the worst acronym in the world is #FUPA

#FuckOnions

Some people just shouldn't have children. Unfortunately I graduated with a lot of those people... and they have children.

I'm a firm believer that everything I say should be retweeted.

@stacibonbon @rsmitheight We showed you the spot, you should be honored.

@stacibonbon Happy 21st, I know you can't buy hard liquor on Sundays but you can go to church and drink all the wine #Partyhardy

Sometimes I wish I had an ex girlfriend with a kid or two... OH WAIT! I have three of those! #SulphurProblems

The pope's quitting. Said he wanted to spend more time with the kids.

@stacibonbon Your jokes are getting weak and I'm growing tired of you. Does this mean we're married?

@stacibonbon Would you like a pearl necklace?

I don't have enough sleeveless Ed Hardy shirts

Black girls who dye their hair red look retarded