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"RRAWWRRRR RAWRRREEEEAAARRRR RWARRRRR RAWR!" --Mayor of Big Bear
LIFEHACK: Crouch down and walk sideways like a crab everywhere while singing "This Is How I Walk Now" to the tune of "This Is How We Do It."
Milo in the streets. Otis in the sheets.
If you escape jail by helicopter, they shouldn't be allowed to put you back in there. You won.
GO PELICANS GO! STUFF YOUR MOUTH WITH FISH! GO PELICANS GO! STUFF YOUR MOUTH WITH FISH!
What if dogs are reverse werewolves that turn into naked men during a full moon? Anyways we're gathered here today to wed Joel & Diana in ho
I guess you could say Anquan Boldin will be a Raven...never more. *rollerblades into active volcano*
Quick reminder that Nicolas Cage owns a pyramid in New Orleans that he wants to be buried in.
"Ray, what's your opinion on homosexual athletes?" [Ray Lewis' mouth opens wider than his head & a screech shatters every window in town]
Gumbel & Dierdorf. They're boring. They're cops. They're boring cops. Boring Cops, Friday nights on CBS.
I'm rubber. You're glue. We shouldn't be sentient. Something has gone horribly wrong.
[giant dog steps on & crushes home] Homeowner: "I've heard of housebroken, but this is ridiculous!" Cop: "Sir, your entire family is dead."
This vagina didn't commit suicide. [dramatically removes sunglasses] This vagina was murdered!
FOX News airs live suicide. CNN claims suspect still alive. MSNBC shows clip of goat running in circle.
Could Alabama beat Alabama?
So stabbing somebody thirty times ISN'T self defense? smdh* (*stabbing my damn husband)
If you have the means, donate directly to an appropriate charity. Retweets don't save lives.