@EverettWhite's (Everett 'Stu' White) most faved Tweets...
Dear drunk guy across the bar: when you yelled "I'M REALLY ORNERY!" it sounded to all of us like something completely different.
The bag of bread on my counter says, "Good until 8/23/09" but I say, "Good until mold appears" ...spoken like a true bachelor.
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Lithium batteries are like a girlfriend. Keep it topped off, and it'll last for ten years.
...then it'll quit working and cost you money.
...then it'll quit working and cost you money.
12
Chance of snow?
Snow?
The northern hemisphere must have been all like, "screw it, I'm too lazy to do the whole fall thing this year."
Snow?
The northern hemisphere must have been all like, "screw it, I'm too lazy to do the whole fall thing this year."
11
Just had a girl tell me the Colts game kicks off "at 5:20pm Specific Time"
Same girl who tried to go shopping at the National Mall in DC.
Same girl who tried to go shopping at the National Mall in DC.
11
Ok, so the audio wasn't fixed. 350 people switching theaters.
Apparently these people don't know what it means when I call "same seats"
Apparently these people don't know what it means when I call "same seats"
10
Using public restroom psychology, I go for the urinal I think gets used least.
That, and I look at how much pee splatter is on the floor.
That, and I look at how much pee splatter is on the floor.
10
"The Invention of Lying" looks like a wildly popular movie! The four of us sitting in this 200-seat theater can't wait for it to start.
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This infomercial says presidential dollars are the biggest collectors items of the last 100 years. I disagree.
Two words: Beanie. Babies.
Two words: Beanie. Babies.
9
LMAO // Girl overheard: "Foreplay with him consists of him saying, 'hey, would you find the zits on my back?' "
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So there's this movie "Where the Wild Things Are" coming out, and I don't want to sound snobby, but *ehhm* I've read the book.
9
I think I may have just come up with one of those "I wish I'd have thought of that!" ideas. Man, I need a business plan now.
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So here I go to Dictionary.com to look up the word "tangential" ...oooo! Pizza!" wait, what was I looking up? Yeah, the word "irony"
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Comcast onDemand has in it's horror film section a title called "Meat Train Uncut." I don't even want to know but ...horror indeed.
7
Friend of mine is visiting DC next week. She mentioned how much she's looking forward to shopping at the national mall. [shakes head]
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If you're not using Favstar.fm along with Twitter, well then you're ...you're wrong. This Tweet probably won't get starred though! @favstar
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I'm about to expose myself as totally lame for watching reality TV, but Kevin totally should have won Hell's Kitchen instead of Dave.
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