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Apple store Genius’ are arrogant cunts aren’t they? The one I had an appointment with was desperate to out-geek me. Bitch please!
All this talk about men's semi's at wimbledon is getting me excited!
the sandwich lady gave me a huge 9 inch long banana today. Makes my eyes water just looking at it! Also reminded me of an ex-boyfriend!
I wish people at work would stop asking me questions... CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO KELLY CLARKSON!!! *how rude*
OH - Child: "Mum can we go in McDonalds?" Mum: "Do you want the kids at school to call you fat?" Child: "No" Mum: "Then no McDonalds!"
What's the point of "Baby on Board" car signs? It is not as if I choose who I crash into.
walked past a hot guy on the stairs who smelt amazing. now I have the horn.
Star Trek was AAAAAAMMMMMAAAZZZIIINNNG! 9.9/10
I'm 29 years old, 5'11, 160lbs and there is two of me...