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The local adult bookstore is collecting toys for the ladies this holiday season. It's the annual "Toys for Twats" campaign.
Watching this girl take 20 selfies with different faces or she's documenting herself having a stroke, hopefully it's just selfies.
Anyone realize Dora is always lost every episode? Why is their no Amber alert for her? Is it because she's Mexican?
Things not too say before a 3some: Of Course we're going to wait for your friend, she's the hot one.
In case you were wondering when you sit a Barbie doll down, the legs spread wide open. This explains a lot.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
McDonalds meaty wings are made from the swinging underarm fat of your old substitute teachers.
If anything happens to me check the 18 filled notebooks of lists on my wife's nightstand the answer will be in those. Then you can avenge me
There are 3 ways to wear a baseball hat:
1. Forward (normal)
My signature move is sending out a crap tweet then RT 39 people to hide it.
I'm surprised women like those " Keep Calm" posters anytime you tell a woman to "Keep Calm" shit is going down.
Secret to twitter is: tweet like your an alcoholic, Nympho, homeless person on Xanax but have a sweet side & be proficient in grammar.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
Despite what ladies think, guys prefer a woman with curves over a skinny girl with no shape. Don't sweat the curves we love u like that.
Stop for 2 minutes look up and make sure the world is not passing you by.
First rule of fight club should be the loser has to bring snacks the following week.
I'm white but not Will Smith white.
If my mom asks this is the Jokes for Jesus chat room on AOL. Thanks.
I'm white but not dance like Carlton from Fresh Prince white.
I can make the panties drop.
By knocking them of the shelves at Target!
You remind me of someone I once knew. She was Queen of the Netherlands.