"You don't run the Google?" RT @scottfilmcritic: I love this. A mother objects to the Google Doodle. http://t.co/dDdjBOWx

I love how #Eurovision reminds us that there is no taste, sense or logic in the universe.

"I'm after a book about heart attacks by David Eggs," said the man looking for Dave Eggers' Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius.

“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun” WHAT IF IT'S A CHAOTIC NEUTRAL LADY THOUGH

I've watched enough Disney to know that the amount of red, green and black I have in my wardrobe means that, technically, I'm a villain.

Got a papercut from a book about vampires. It's one of those perfect moments, like when I tripped over a pile of Lee Childs' Tripwire.

I want a sloth in a box. pic.twitter.com/BSZBXnOoEn

"Weird things people do in their sleep" was posted at 2.38am because the BBC knows what it's doing.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20340562 …

This is INSANE. I detect INSANITY. RT @pgofton: This is long, but amazing. Mental breakup livetweeted. http://t.co/X0NcFMNM

"Hard to sing in Klingon, isn't it?" ladies and gentlemen, my dad. #Hungary #Eurovision

I've watched the Star Trek trailer several times now and can confirm that Benedict Cumberbatch's voice alone could probably get me pregnant.

A moment of appreciation for the Twilight cast and their AMAZING fake running pic.twitter.com/bgouJyqz7x

NEW ABHORSEN BOOK ALERT it's called Clariel and it's a Sabriel prequel and omg YES:  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7489530-clariel?auto_login_attempted=true … (via @lizuk)

Pulling a kitten out of nothing.  http://25.media.tumblr.com/a77c08b495a1bdded9d2bce928b5100e/tumblr_mgja5rghp91r3gb3zo1_250.gif …

As someone who used to queue up for midnight Harry Potter releases I absolutely cannot judge anyone who's doing it for a phone.

You too can experience the bliss of a British summer by standing in a wind tunnel and activating the sprinkler fire alarm.

You're all thinking "Thor", I'm thinking "Jay & Silent Bob mashed up as one" #Iceland #Eurovision

CRYING A BIT #Tintin pic.twitter.com/GrDRwzoS (via @lclark & @mikefgroves)

My phone autocorrects "Star Wars" to "Star Trek". Divisive nerdism is not cool, phone. Not cool.

Oh, fuck everything.