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Tonight's Eurovision drinking game is simple (as always). Drink on a pyrotechnic effect (warning, Azerbaijan might kill you)
John Terry out... Chris Hune out... someone call BBC3 and commission "Terry and Huhne"
Err. It's Greece next. So a thirty second dance riff. Played six times. Sung by a girl in a cheesecloth nappy that's falling off #eurovision
Italy have discovered how to succeed at #Eurovision. Get a Zombie Amy Winehouse to sing a mix of Italian and English in Azerbaijan
Lithuania is next. think John Barrowman, aged 12, blindfolded, but still able to pick out the cmaera before a cheesy disco air guitar moment
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