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I love that your wife makes you block me on twitter.
Like I don't have your email, #, address or pictures of your dick...etc.
The word forbidden just means "try harder".
I love when people that don't follow me star my tweets. It's like being felt up by a stranger in a bar & never seeing them again, thanks! :)
Got a text this am asking: "R u still single?"
I replied with: "yep, AND pregnant"
I haven't heard from him since :)
I despise when men "assume" we are dating.
Just bc your dick was in my mouth, doesn't mean we're in a relationship.
I don't care if you think you're smarter than me; I can google shit too, you know.
-My favorite lollipop flavor
I'm sorry, but love is not blind & neither am I.
My sister is stuck in an elevator.
I told her it's times like these that she needs to have a Twitter.
The genuine laughter of my son is the most perfect sound in the world.
I'm getting that awful urge again.
Soon, I'm going to have to:
1. Fuck something until I can't walk
2. Kill it.
When people ask if I'm getting enough sleep, that's just their "nice way" of saying I look like shit, right?
Evil has many faces.
The more beautiful the better...deception is art.
Sometimes I just want my hair pulled.
No, I don't mind cuddling and sweetness but sometimes...
I really just want my hair pulled.
Yes, I'm edible.
Make up your mind and just fuck me already.
I may be a fucking neurotic mess, but I'll never be accused of being boring, that's for sure.
I drunk how love I feel.
So you thought you'd appeal to my narcissistic side...?
You don't put your life on hold for me.
That's what I love the most about you.
You don't NEED me.
You WANT me.
10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will. 5% pleasure, 50% pain & 100% reason to remember the name: Batgirl