To move like Jagger not always possible. Bad knees. Madonna always puts on a good show. #tweetlikemurdoch

If Phoebe sees this episode, she's totes gonna pour petrol on herself and set herself on fire. Totes #madeinchelsea

No. 1 - Mary telling her dad she's pregnant. Blames God to stop too many questions; accidentally starts a religion. #adventwank

Kimberly has gone! Now that's a shame. Let's hope the new one also has the personality of a Rice Krispie square #MadeInChelsea

Just remembered there's no #madeinchelsea on Monday :( @caggie_dunlop will have to dress as 80s icons with no one to see! #trauma

Yoghurt #adverts are shit. If I ever met someone who creamed themselves that much over a yoghurt, I’d blow their minds & show them mousse.

The main thing about Mini Eggs is FUCKING GIVE THEM TO ME

Every episode: Oh look the skinny one is crying because she hates not feeling faint when she stands up #SupersizeVsSuperskinny

@robinince Hi Robin, could you please RT. Unable at attend your Bristol show tonight, so I've got 2x tickets going at face value. Thanks!

Blimey, saw Terry Wogan trending there and thought for a horrible moment that his wig had escaped. Lock your windows kids.

I can't believe there wasn't one single dinosaur in it. Wasted opportunity. #lovelybones

It's nice to see that Katie Price has reminded us all about the long forgotten Frankie Boyle joke while managing to promoting herself. Bless

Fear God is trending. Knowing twitter's spelling ability, Fear Dog will soon trend, quickly followed by Feed Dog. #feeddog

Today I read some letters written by five year olds. Many of them spelt ducks 'dux'. Five year olds are idiots.

This is like having a tramp wank into your face. For hours. With endless waves of gushing. #xfactor

What a shit prize! They get to go and have a drink on Sugar. Big whoop. Next week they get to wear fancy shoes for an hour #theapprentice

Luckily they probably have 4OD in prison, so Dad'll be able to catch up on what he missed #gypsyweddings

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have herpes
And now you do too
#valentines

I think Zara should just have said "I'd buy another dress" #youngapprentice

This is what happens when you use TalkTalk for your broadband #xfactor #TechnicalDifficulties