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To move like Jagger not always possible. Bad knees. Madonna always puts on a good show. #tweetlikemurdoch
The main thing about Mini Eggs is FUCKING GIVE THEM TO ME
Blimey, saw Terry Wogan trending there and thought for a horrible moment that his wig had escaped. Lock your windows kids.
I can't believe there wasn't one single dinosaur in it. Wasted opportunity. #lovelybones
It's nice to see that Katie Price has reminded us all about the long forgotten Frankie Boyle joke while managing to promoting herself. Bless
Fear God is trending. Knowing twitter's spelling ability, Fear Dog will soon trend, quickly followed by Feed Dog. #feeddog
Today I read some letters written by five year olds. Many of them spelt ducks 'dux'. Five year olds are idiots.
What a shit prize! They get to go and have a drink on Sugar. Big whoop. Next week they get to wear fancy shoes for an hour #theapprentice
Luckily they probably have 4OD in prison, so Dad'll be able to catch up on what he missed #gypsyweddings
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have herpes
And now you do too
I think Zara should just have said "I'd buy another dress" #youngapprentice
This is what happens when you use TalkTalk for your broadband #xfactor #TechnicalDifficulties