Girls in belly shirts, sorry about your dads.

Nicki Minaj is our most famous working clown.

During a game of charades would be the worst time to get murdered/raped :-(

@brendonwalsh pic.twitter.com/8SqvambF

I hope this is the last picture I ever look at. pic.twitter.com/ZSYogpu8

The good thing about being smart is being able to figure things out probably.

I don't understand how since they figured out how to make mirrors that make you taller and skinnier why the still make the other ones?

Sometimes I miss the old Kelly Osbourne pic.twitter.com/9VDvODEA

When you want something you've never had you usually have to do something you've never done.

Whenever children get annoying just remember how good they are at making sneakers.

If a guy asks me what my favorite song is on first date for fun I say, 'Owner of a Lonely Heart,' and then look away like I'm emotional.

Rihanna has a new song where she's singing about sex.

Chris Brown's to-do list pic.twitter.com/9AcpDY9r

Halloween is for people who can't get laid as themselves.

Discovering new shortcuts on my computer gets me super excited aaaaand still single.

If anyone wants to get stoned and talk about hip hop and the Illuminati don't call me.

I started crying when I saw my girlfriend's new baby (it wasn't cute)

Had the best sleep, didn't wet the bed!

Whatevs pic.twitter.com/oDzK83wA

Ron Jeremy has been practicing his whole career for this hospital scene.