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After getting laser in my eye, the doctor asked how my eye felt. He didn't appreciate it when I said "Like a bunch of LASERS GOT IN THERE"
With the meticulous planning of his murder traps it's pretty clear that Kevin McAllister from Home Alone turned out to be Jigsaw of Saw fame
Daredevil actually has more bat powers than Batman, so Affleck has some prior experience. Oh and I'll have the wedgie, please.
My 8 yo just said: I'm going to make an Irish knife. Do you have a champagne bottle I can break and use to stab someone?
Does anyone know how to get a hold of the Latin Kings? I'd like to get my kids involved with a gang so they toughen up a little.
Saturday, Incident Free Saturday #songprequels
No organization has worse customer service than a small town Dairy Queen.
LIVE on #Periscope: Lloyd Maines and Terri Hendrix https://www.periscope.tv/w/aEI_JTI5NjAxNTl8MTg5MDU4NzJPvHo7wCvuyV_467jWE0iE-bvHRPOKlyqivnK9-6QgBQ== …
Kale chips taste like fried Bible wrapped up in kite string.
I'm definitely in favor of kids not getting their way.
My wife is out of town and now something called Hollywood Hillbillies is on TV and NOW I'M DOUBTING EVERYTHING I KNOW TO BE TRUE
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