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BREAKING: America resumes not caring about soccer, begins counting down to NFL Kickoff
FUTURE BREAKING NEWS - Billy Cundiff murdered, Ray Lewis believed to be prime suspect.
California Chrome ran more like California Internet Explorer
BREAKING: Raiders agree to 10-year contract extension with 4th place in the AFC West.
Kobe's teammates shouldn't worry about getting the flu.. he probably won't pass that to them either.
REPORT: Josh Gordon and Justin Blackmon considering domestic violence as means to reduce their weed suspensions.
BREAKING: With NFL season kicking off tonight.. the Browns, Rams and Dolphins have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
RT this if you intercepted a Tony Romo pass tonight. #MNF
BREAKING: Germany now favored to sign LeBron James
BREAKING: Applebees working on 2-year, $9 per hour contract with QB Vince Young sending shock-waves throughout free agency.
BREAKING WEATHER: Washington DC area under Tornado Watch; seek shelter at Redskins facilities where touchdowns rarely occur.
Just like the last Cowboy to wear #88, Dez Bryant can't avoid a white line when it matters the most.
When your arm gets hit, the ball is not going to go where you want it to. (Parody Account. Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org).
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