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What and how much a man hears is in direct relation to the height of the heel of the woman speaking to him.
If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
Can someone tell me why a boken bone hurts for a while then gets better, but one word said inappropriately can hurt for a lifetime?
When I see one shoe on the side of the road I think, that guy had a REALLY bad day.....
Then I feel a lot better about mine.
I was going to a fitness class but it was on the second floor and the bar next door is only one story. No stairs = safety first!
People, the problem that won't go away.
I lick the tip, swirl my tongue around the sides, move my mouth down & gently suck as I pull up..
Boy,do I LOVE soft serve ice cream cones!
Think twice before pouring your heart out. You might just be pouring it down the drain.
If you put yourself first, you're doing it wrong.
Drink coffee, do stupid things faster and with more energy!
Since we have to turn the clocks back, does that mean we all have Deja vu at the same time?
I can easily see us being in an intense relationship.
In a crime scene tape sort of way.
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, my prescriptions been refilled, it's a glorious day!
Sometimes I think my sole reason to exist is to amuse my cats. So much for the grand plan.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who forgets I can skip the commericals when watching something recorded from the DVR...
The Lion, the Witch and Daddy's Secret Wardrobe. #sadchildrensbooks
They're ordering calendars at work for 2011. If I get one am I obligated to still be here?
Does it count as church, if "oh God" was said this wonderful Sunday morning?
Asking for a friend.
Got a pair of those toning gym shoes to tighten your legs and butt. They didn't tell me I'd actually have to WALK in them to get results.
The ultimate in cruelty - I have a shoe bot following me.. I. will. not. use. the. credit. card.....
Life can be funny - if you know where to look. Occasionally funny with a feline bent.