Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Is it me or was that a short summer?
If anyone wants to trade jobs, let me know. Even if you climb through sewer pipes looking for blockages, I'd be happy to switch with you.
"Show me your horse + I will tell you who you are" -Old English saying. Yeah, I know, its hard to believe these guys used to have an empire.
Gyms would be awesome if they were filled with women working out in catholic school girl uniforms.
Why do the French pronounce pain so much differently than we do? And even more puzzlingly, why do they think it means bread?
My older sister has been taken in by a cult. Hahaha. I'm happy for her.
if you take the laughter out of slaughter, the fun from funeral, and the Carly from iCarly you are left with the letters: I-S-R-A-E-L
My wife has bought me aftershave that smells like perfume. Also some women's clothes and tampax. Left the bag in her cupboard too. Weird.
People never go to the bathroom in movies, huh? Apparently you've never BEEN TO GERMANY!!!! #,
sext: come over and watch pitch perfect again
There are Aspen trees in Utah that are 80,000 years old. That's bonkers when you consider god only made earth 6,000 years ago!
You can't make someone love you, but you CAN make their baby.
During an eye examination, I like to say this to the doctor: "What're YOU lookin' at?"
My mom only has 43 Facebook friends what a fucking loser!!!!!!
Might switch to Lyft because this Uber driver won't let me strap a mattress on top of his Prius.
How To Bang Strangers by literally everybody I know except me
You HAVE to listen to this song, it's perfect. Okay, this opening is slow… The vocals aren't great here… Wow. This is trash, and I am trash.
Now I'm crying thinking about Pharrell crying