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Noticing an uptick in people criticizing my tweets. Your feedback is always welcome and appreciated because I value your comedic abilities.
I'm just a boy, asking my Über driver to take me to Vegas and I swear by the time we get there I'll have convinced you to marry me.
I bet Vince Gilligan would approve of my tweets, that honky knows what's up
Halloween costume ideas:
I wished I loved anything as much as people from Michigan love using the palm of their hand to show you what part of Michigan they're from.
You’re not officially married until you’ve bickered in a Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Can you comb my kid's hair to my wife's satisfaction? Congratulations, warlock!
FREE BABY NAMES: Charb, Leave, Justinden, Layleagué, CokeAnne, Margical, Drakkarth
Your nana messaged me on Tinder and she wanted to "cut through the bullshit and get to pumpin'."
So close to putting pants on and telling everyone in this bus station the party's over.
I can't bear it when people shorten though to tho. Ugh.
a study of 133 rats in manhattan finds they're disgusting, which i learned during my study of watching a subway rat eat a dead rat