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Your time in the bathroom is like the end credits of a movie. Never rush it, there may be a bonus scene.
Doctor: No more fried foods. No more sugar. No more bread.
Me: Is Krispy Kreme ok?
Help! My infant daughter has no haters.
Wearing a Freddy Krueger sweater to a Halloween-themed show tonight because nothing scares me like horizontal stripes.
What's it like to lead a life that leads you to Yelp?
Available Suicide Girl name: Mesothelioma
That moment when the guy cutting your hair holds up a mirror to show you the back and you're like, "Whaddaya want, a fuckin medal?"
superman is so boring! it's like, he's the strongest, so how can there be an interesting story? I spent nearly nine seconds on this opinion
Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA
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