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use my lyft code INSIDEJOB to deeply offend your driver who lived in new york from 1998-2003
Got TWO women's numbers at Home Depot tonight.
Jesus Fucking Christ. Did DYNASTY drop acid? https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/735976394241511424 …
When you think about it, guide dogs are kind of like hairy compasses that poop.
Put on your Pilates clothes and walk your tiny dog, cos you're in New York City, girl!
I bet it's funny as shit watching Melania Trump try to be kind to underprivileged children.
At every Bernie rally there's a stall where you can get his face painted on your chest
Every dog is a guide dog if you don't give a shit where you're going.
My dad fought in Vietnam and I have the dating history to prove it!
Man sitting next to on the plane to SLC only likes "racist comedy", hassled me for having bags that are "man-colored". (Note: they're gray.)
Twitter, I don't need to know what happened when I was away. You're the reason I went away in the first place.
Does the milk from a bowl of Fruity Pebbles count as a juice cleanse
Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA
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