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hey kiddies, the real friday night drugs are Flexeril and Ibuprofen. You can take your cocaine and stuff it up... your... uhm... nose.
This whole time I didn't even think there WERE ANY black people in Sandy, OR #SandyLootCrew
#sandylootcrew is officially the greatest trending topic in the history of twitter. Also #Infowars thinks it's real.
@cowharbinger that's not really that impressive considering the size of bovine vadge. "Bovine Vadgeuuu" also name of japanese pop supergroup
@catches_sars once asked me to, literally, RT one of her bad tweets to help her go up FavStar. Never seen anything more pathetic in my life.
@cowharbinger if you like cucumbers, aka "ghetto dildoes," you can find one inside @catches_sars at any time
@cowharbinger I heard you only eat grass. Lauren smokes grass all day so that's another thing you may have in common. #brohman
@cowharbinger as long as you like obese, sociopathic, compulsive liars that continually shift sexual identity, you're golden #brahsrule
@kirbyslefteye nope. all attorneys are lawyers but not all lawyers are attorneys. Nice try.
Life seems to continually teach me that empathy, pity, compassion, and kindness will always be qualities that are punished in the end.
so this ENTIRE TIME they weren't really called "The Almond Brothers." Yeah, thanks everyone for NOT telling me. Shitheads.
Deus Ex Wifena - n. A Grecian legal device wherein half of the protaganist's money is lifted from his wallet via crane.
"More like CHOKE-rah Winfrey!" - WNBA announcer in an alternative universe where Oprah is a pro basketball player, misses final shot #dreams
what if we're really figments of another being's imagination.
What if we are all one consciousness?
What if methane is really farting us?
at this point I'm just posting evidence of the crazy woman who's (trying to) destroy my life.
Stats can't be shown as @Fistivus has never signed in to Favstar.
