Without me this company would be FUCKED! ...or atleast with less personel... or they'll manage. Ah, they won't miss me! Why am I here again?

Two boobs just walked by my desk. I think there might have been a woman attachted to them, but I can't be sure.

Instead of working out I desided to stay home, sit on the couch, eat chips and drink beer. There has to be balance! Balance and beer.

Spend my weekend sitting on the back of a motorcycle. Now I have to relearn walking up straigt. I'm basically back to baboon level.

Got the bill for my latest car repair... what happened after that I dunno. Only know I woke up in a puddle of urine with foam on my mouth...

Does anybody have experience in sueing the coffeebean farmers for producing coffee that doesn't wake me the fuck up??

Damn, I've never seen such a serious case of brake-fetish! Seek help and get off the road asshole!

Been in a meeting for the whole freaking day!! Halfway through I started thinking of reasons why my life is pointless. Then I threw things.

Yesterday I talked to a friend who said he didn't see the use and fun of Twitter. Related: Anybody know the best way to get rid of a body?

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the sun next to this lake... ah, who am I kidding, you need me, go away and leave me alone!

Discovering a bigass black spider on the wall above my bed isn't really a good sleep motivator...

Fuck this "no coffee" rule I made up for myself! Gimme gimme gimme!

Getting picked up from the airport by my swedish friend @madom today. If he's on his moose I'll take the bus...

Who'd have thought that drinking a shitload of beer for two nights in a roll would give you a headache! I should try it again to make sure..

My mother tought me that pointing at people is rude. So now I just call them and yell to their face that their outfit sucks ass.

I'd like to split myself into 3. One will have sex, the other will sleep late and the last one will tend to all this goddamn work!

I REALLY hate it when someone leaves ONE sheet of toiletpaper on the roll... ONE! Lazy bastards! TP, I need TP for my bunghole!!

I freaking HATE these "baby on board" things in cars. What am I supposed to do with that information! Theyre the shitty driver, YOU watchit!

Yelling "Kiss my ass!!" to someone looses it's appeal when they call your bluff...

This cold is beginning to bore the living snot out of me!