@FormerPolice's (Roscoe Rules) most faved Tweets...
#BadRomance normally begins when you meet that special gal haggling over the price of meth, in a Walmart parking lot.
You know, everytime twitter gets real quiet like now. I like to think its because I said something really offensive. Dare to dream.
If you ever want to know what each and every single one of your faults are. Feel free to criticize the wife sometime.
Co workers are terrified of my Halloween door decorations. I have employee performance review forms with each and every employees name.
Yeah, doing all this romantic shit is wearing me out. But I have seen her take apart a whole chicken with just a butcher's knife too.
This just in: Starbucks tastes like crap. Its over roasted and bitter. No wonder you people put a melted candy bar in for flavor.
Another sure sign that you are middle aged. The music that was popular when you were in high school. Is now played in the grocery store.
Wisdom learned: If a woman is kind enough to get naked for you, giving her an orgasm is not an unreasonable request.
You have incredibly funny people here with barely 100 followers. And some scumbag celebrity with 25,000. This is why I don't like people.
I've been out of the loop, I don't know what these lists are. Only ones I want to be on are Abrasive, Asshole, Armed and Angry. Thats it.
I am not afraid of most things, but checking the Visa activity when my wife is out with her girlfriends is one of them.
Very weird day, its raining sideways. The Sun is out and the wife is not off shopping. Skimming book of Revelations now.
Dear former friend. No, I don't want to join you on Facebook. The next time I see you, I will hit you in the face with the Oxford Dictionary
I can't navigate around twitter at all. But lets all welcome my 48 new followers and each one has the secret to teeth whitening.
I wonder how many followers I will lose, when they see themselves in my Registered Sex Offender List
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