Maybe if we over-paid our teachers and under-paid our Pop artists there would better education and less bad music.

Multiple "Ryan Lanza's" are being spammed and harrassed on Twitter now. This is what happens when mindless cattle are given computers.

1950: I want to show you a night out under the stars by the lake. Wouldn't that be fine?

2012: Here's a picture of my shaved cock.

ReTweeting: What people who don't feel threatened by fellow twitter-users do.

Gay men aren't fags. Guys who do 70mph, on a suburban side street, in their second-rate sports cars are fags.

100 ways to reach me: 1.) Text Me. 2.) Call Me. 2.) E-Mail. 3.) FB .... 98.) Homing Pigeon. 99.) Signal Flares. 100.) Voice Mail

Hey married guy, shut the fuck up. If I wanted your opinion I'd ask your wife.

I would love to be a sugar daddy one day. First, I need to get to the point where I am not checking my bank account before I order a pizza.

Twitter: Learn how to dismantle and devastate a human being verbally in 140 characters.

I just stopped home for a minute and Herman Cain was having sex with my entire family.

If it ever looks like I stole a tweet from you, just shut up and be flattered that I allow you to think the same thoughts as me.

How long until we stop calling them phones?

There are two types of people in this world: People with boners and people that suck them.

Was anyone else expecting Clint Eastwood to blame the recession on the gooks?

Remember kids: You can't drink and drive without a liquor license.

If you fall into a ravine, send out a distress tweet with your location attached. Then see how many people star it and let you die.

If you're uncomfortable, you're being honest. Keep going.

The inventor of Doritos Died... Leaving behind a legacy of people whose inner thighs chafe when they walk.

Comparing Tiger Woods to Penn State is like comparing horny apples to child-molesting oranges.

iPhone 10 negotiates your divorce for you.