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What is the appropriate amount of time to point and laugh at someone who's wearing something from the Sears Kardashian Kollection?
Tonight’s goal is tomorrows hangover.
In all situations, the dude with the air horn is my least favorite dude.
If we're in a car🚗 and I love the song on the radio 🎤and you turn it down to tell me something, please know that I now hate you. 😠
I think what my life needs is more friends named "Cooter"
I really, truly, passionately love you (flip to B side) r sister #candyheartrejects”
I think you should get tested. #candyheartrejects
Here's a little something about me: I lie about my weight to elliptical machines.
Never trust a begger in a wheelchair who has large calf muscles or worn out shoes
#49ers please interview other candidates. Please don't hire Baalke this quickly. You aren't at risk to lose him. Take your damn time.
When someone responds w/ "that's interesting" they're usually trying to tell you to shut up because you're boring.