Missed connections: I was in the horsetail & gas mask in the bird cage above the bar. U were airtight in the pit. Bob has my number. Call me

My liver wants to get back together.

Tattoo elephant ears right next to your penis for The Lord.

A giant dick bell that “schlongs”on the hour.

I have to poop now.

I think the madness began back in ‘82 when I glued Orson Welles’ head onto the body of a Virginia Slims cigarette model.

Why do nutsacks suddenly appear

Every time you are near?

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you

#replacesonglyricswithnutsack

I hope you get anally impaled by an onion ring tower at Red Robin. Yum, motherfucker.

Someone just scolded me for taking a Xanax while drinking. Fucking amateur.

A tattoo of the SpaghettiO’s logo but the O is your asshole.

I just imagine Slap Chop Vince beating produce with a big black dildo.

Nice dick pic but I can’t help notice how poorly you cared for that berber flooring.

Bringing follower avi’s together. Hairless ballsac, have you met gaping asshole?

I never feel more Kardashian than when I pee on myself in the dark, in the shower.

Maybe I like my fucking dirty mouth, Orbit gum whore.

Beer battered wives.

Nice dick. Does it feed your ass peanuts?

You'd think with all the hiking Dora the Explorer does, she'd be thinner.

Axl Rose dances like he’s creatively leaving a vagina.

Fuck Dr. Oz and this 48 hour cleanse.

*pours blackberry moonshine in flax seed smoothie*

What? It’s a fucking super fruit.