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You could kill someone if you hit them with an afternoon Dunkin Donut donut.
This girl said the taco bell was closed because their "meat hose" wasn't working. That cant be real
Half the black workers in America really need to b wearin their work uniform inside out. Their boss's boss just didnt get caught on tape yet
Google needs to release the stats on how many Maya Angelou quotes were googled today to help people pretend they were familiar w/her work
A old white billionaire makin the news 4being racist is like a lil blk kid from the hood makin the news 4 wantin 2b a rapper when he growsup
The married girl at lunch said she had a joint account. The weedhead at lunch, properly timed, said he had a joint account too
The new blind dude @ work is a comedian. He accidentally hit me w/ his guide stick thing and said "excuse me, I didnt see u there" & laughed
Me & white people, who r well aware of their white privilege, get along best. They dont have2 feel bad about it, long as they know its real
"Drake promotes mental health and well being. Leaving all that gangsta shit bottled up will give you a stroke" - natl psychiatric institute
I just found out Scandal is back tonight. What's the over/under on how many almost cry faces Olivia will make before the show ends?
My boy at work, who always joked the size of my Galaxy, just got his iphone6 and said "apple figured out the perfect size for a cell phone"
Hellen Keller gets all the shine but her teacher is the 1 who should b famous. How the hell do u explain something to a deaf & blind person?
When u see smokers smokin n the pourin rain, it shows that the distinction btween cig smokers & cracksheads isnt much of a distinction @ all
Im not mature enough to handle women coming in from the rain yelling "im soooo wet"
Curren$y said he can "take 10 g's and make 20 more 10 g's with that." Thats murdering the portfolio any financial advisor could set up for u
A person's missing tooth will make you reassess everything you thought about them before you saw the missing tooth
a crazy government lawyer who sees crazy stuff in Richmond, Bmore, and DC. my tweets are all real, unless youre a fed, then its all fiction & jokes
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