@FriedaClub's (Frieda Club) most faved Tweets...
Those of you complaining Obama didn't deserve to win the Nobel Peace Prize obviously didn't catch the swimsuit portion of the competition.
Garth Brooks is coming back? You have to cut off the head people. The HEAD.
If you send me one more Mafia invite, we're playing for real motherfucker.
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It either snowed last night or Courtney Love sneezed on my lawn.
Those people against Death Panels for old people have apparently never been stuck behind one doing 40mph in the passing lane.
Listening to IT guy explain GoogleWave gives me a better understanding of the look on my Golden Retriever's face as he watches me masturbate
Hey. Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Eating spicy nachos & masturbating are both enjoyable.


Just not in that order.


According to the woman sitting in the drinking fountain.
Just calculated the number of squirrels you could pack into a hollow Lady Gaga.


So I can't say this meeting was a COMPLETE waste of time.
My age? Flirty banter w/the bartender whispers 26, but interrupting it for my air drum solo of Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" screams 41
My god is patient, kind and is always there for me. My god loves to roll over and fetch. Best of all, my god doesn't mind that I'm dyslexic.
Did anyone tell Rush Limbaugh that even if he buys the St. Louis Rams, he still doesn't get to take them back to his plantation?
Dear neighbor with the loud motorcycle, Just because it is only the SOUND of a tiny penis waking me up, does not make it any less traumatic.
I honestly felt my therapist and I were making progress. But recently it's been all safe word THIS, and safe word THAT.
This hormone replacement therapy does seem to be helping with the hot flashes.



But it sure does make my balls itch.
Fishing my iPhone out of the rehab clinic crapper. Fuck those people; I can quit anytime I want. Oops. They’ve spotted me. Just one more twe
Get UP people. Time to make the funny. This ass is not going to roll around on the floor and laugh ITSELF off.
One of my nipples just cracked off and shattered on the sidewalk.



How long until Spring?
Whenever I'm bored, I call one of my parents and ask them to describe how the internet works.
Dear Hummer driver driving 50 in the left lane. May you be drug from your vehicle, emasculated and your tiny penis fed to wolves.
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