Scientists theorize the sun is "hot as fuck" and will burn for "a long ass time"

It's gettin hot in here, so ｔａｋｅ ｏｕｔ ａｌｌ ｙｏｕｒ ｂｏｎｅｓ / I am getting so hot, I'm gonna ｔａｋｅ ｍｙ ｂｏｎｅｓ ｏｕｔ

yall gonna make me call my mom // up in here, up in here

Ladies, call me an iPad because there's a better version of me out there and there are videos of me getting beaten up with a bat on YouTube

Get low girl, yeah get real low. Damn girl you diggin a hole right in the floor. gettin dirt all over the club

"do you realize you broke the law" well, you know what they say... you break it, you buy it *cop weeps as I drive off, now crowned Law King*

Dad always asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. He never let me answer though, just said "a fag I bet" then left the room w/ a beer

Are you a rad enough dude to kickflip this dead cop

Every time someone asks what you're doing respond "not jerking off if that's what you're thinking" in a panicked tone

MILF (Man, I'd Like a Friend)

Dad can you read me a bedtime story "sure son I'll read you The Little Gay Son Who Will Never Be Anything" dad I'm like 8 "fuck you son"

Falling in love backwards is you slowly becoming a more productive and tolerable person with more friends

Just yelled "what are you DOING" at a crow that was standing in the middle of the street holding a cigarette butt in its beak

sext: I let u take control. u like being in control but you start going mad w/ power. ur a sex tyrant, I lead a revolution against u

Tetris is just a metaphor for doing cocaine because the goal is to make a bunch of lines disappear and there's Russian music playing

When I die I hope it's mid-jump on the world's sweetest trampoline and people watch my lifeless body bounce until it runs out of momentum

Microsoft Sam who is cool ｆｒｉｇｈｔ ｓｈａｒｋ ｉｓ ｃｏｏｌ haha you don't mean that ｆｒｉｇｈｔ ｓｈａｒｋ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ ｃｏｏｌｅｓｔ you're so nice ｐｏｏｐ ｂｕｔｔｓ ｂｏｏｂｉｅｓ hahaha

sext: I skateboard right into them fine titties. I kickflip on that ass

my skeleton is depressed that it has to carry around my shitty body

It's the remix to ignition / pay my college tuition / mama I got no money / also got no job or ambition