I hate college basketball...too many white dudes on the court.

That suicide attempt looked like my usual Tuesday night #lizanddick

The tears of a single white female taste like rice cakes & lean cuisine

SMOKE DMT GET TATTOOS FUCK YOUR DADS ACCOUNTANT

Someone I went to HS with just caught me inside a CVS buying cigarettes and wearing Ugg boots

it's only illegal if I get caught

GET NAKED (I got a plan)

If Heidi & Seal can't make it last, there's no hope for the rest if us. That was like a real life Beauty & the Beast

Toxic by Britney Spears is better than any Beatles song ever

What do you mean I can't call your dad hot? Freedom of speech LOOK IT UP.

@wafflesgirls calories don't count during a natural disaster!

Does this mean all the white trash hicks I went to HS with will stop posting those FB statuses about how much they hate Obama now?

"~always hungry ~ always horny~"

Were you dudes always this soft or did that frank ocean album really affect y'all that much?

Why can't I instagram your divorce papers?

All y'all NYers shoulda voted at my hood hippie spot in the village. Hot junkies, celeb spotting & an old lady tellin me she liked my hair

IMAGINE IF I WAS YOUR STEPMOM

"I don't go to white strip clubs cuz watching some flatass bitch dance to Closer by NIN is the last thing I need to see"

Guys under 25 should find different hobbies other than pretending to be DJs and masturbating

I DON'T FEAR GOD. I FEAR NANCY GRACE.