By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you unfollowed and blocked. You may now kiss my ass.

Good news everyone, Satan is happy with your progress.

Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels, troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as crazy, we see genius. 

They say it’s better to have followed and unfollowed than never to have followed at all.

The finest minds of our generation are busy retweeting dick jokes.

Fuck you ↑, you ↓ and you ↗ … oh and you too →

These girls look like I could use a drink.

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Pick up these Doritos you messy fuck.

Be your own hero, Batman is too busy for your whiny shit.

140 characters are not enough to save your soul.

Social life. Been there, fucked that up.

Auto-correct can’t save you from your stupidity.

WARNING: A problem has been detected and Twitter has been shut down to prevent damage to your brain. Beginning dump of physical memory…

Nothing is more beautiful than a woman in tears, masturbating.

your english very bad, im so disappoint.

Too drunk to fuck, too fucked to drink. Perfectly capable to tweet.

Your smile lights up the room; like a pyromaniac’s wet dream.

Deleting tweets; because the rumors are true, we’re fucking morons.

Are you okay? You’re listening to a lot of Morrissey on Spotify.

I’m going to star the shit out of you, and you’re going to like it. You’re such a fucking tweet tease, you know that?