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  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    I built that beach a sandcastle.
    Beaches love sandcastles.

    • 443
    • FAVS
    Basstardyviolet_heartinshanetheveinAzloidSEQJrayerayemachineeudaiimoniastigma_philskullpuppy11
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    Basstardyviolet_heartinlife_suckerskullpuppy11sam9kWeirdsworththebluejeansgrl__evidentlyblonde
    Nerd_Boner________
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    If Kim Kardashian ever gets in a car accident and no one makes a KarKrashian joke, you're all dead to me.

    • 212
    • FAVS
    Basstardyviolet_heartinsweetbelle76______shanetheveinTDeeRockScarlet_AlabamaF_U_Seek_AmyAHipsterWalrus
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    FrankieLJ13BoutCrazed_SirPrincessCrawford_Jactual_angiedjr_102NotawhinerKESD85
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Of course I support buying local. That's why I buy weed from my neighbor.

    • 201
    • FAVS
    BasstardyNicholaMaColaviolet_heartinshanetheveinLollyramzSternoShotsskullpuppy11cynicanoldicus
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinLollyramzSternoShotsCubicalRonBrony_ShitsBulldog0613nameonmybum_SirPrincess
    DukeOfOyl________silent_musings
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    All I want in a man is someone who will high-five me when I let one rip.

    • 181
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinToastyQuixoteskullpuppy11SternoShotslisaandtotsrevenantpariscynicanoldicusCubicalRon
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinSternoShotslife_suckerCubicalRonprincessboner____MrNickJCMyHairyLife______Jeffstruth
    karencreets______
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Tomorrow my good deed will be to give a hobo a blowjob.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    Basstardyviolet_heartinskullpuppy11SternoShotsLickyourstein____fuhrersceneManJuggsjnestevez
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    ae74Loli_Sugrob1792__________JeffstruthPodyTheCirate____brownpuppettitankiller666ninja_raaawr
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    My good deed for the day will be to judo-chop apart the hands of hand-holding couples and scream, "YOU CAN ONLY TRUST YOURSELF!"

    • 146
    • FAVS
    BasstardyNicholaMaColaviolet_heartinskullpuppy11LegallyErinTweetyLKatSternoShotslife_sucker
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinSternoShotsalcaponerawlinsrob1792__________thr33circles______PodyTheCirate____CopperheadSammiheadedtospace____
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    A coworker's wife shaves his ass for him.

    And now you can't un-know that either.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    GoodBadThingHeatherLinnellzolofighterSamcro_SOAbrightnightowl_Tempo11violet_heartinCommonSavant
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    GoodBadThingzolofighter_Tempo11violet_heartinskullpuppy11SternoShotstheawkwardfulmooyaini
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    I'm hungry but broke so I'm waiting for my bf to say he's hungry too than he'll order something delicious while I pretend to be indifferent.

    • 135
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11cynicanoldicustheawkwardfulrayerayemachineCelebYouTauntDJHouseSlippersKellyBawston
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11shtz_n_gigglesKellyBawstonLoli_SugPodyTheCirate____Golfnutyycfavstar1000favs
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Don't talk to me, I have a crush on you.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11cynicanoldicusCubicalRonPharaohIVtheawkwardfulJumpingJesusHrob1792__________
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11CubicalRonPizzaForWishesfromfreeway2theawkwardfulrob1792__________nicholelamour
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Just lit a candle in my bathroom cuz I'm the most romantic after I drop a deuce at 2am.

    • 107
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11SternoShotsmooyainifuhrerscenethatstingsBucketEtheawkwardful
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinSternoShotsfavstar1000favsMrNickJCninja_raaawrletsdothis29______ScarsFourEyesNerd_Boner________
    fifty_buds
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Show your bitch the world. Bitches love worlds.

    • 91
    • FAVS
    skittlesb1tchNicholaMaColaIceHuckviolet_heartinlife_suckertheawkwardfulJumpingJesusHrob1792__________
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    mrsrzombiewalpurgis666skittlesb1tchJeffStafford8IceHuckviolet_heartinrysox80PodyTheCirate____
    AllInFunTX________
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Lace panties are only good for making a vagina feel like its gone through a cheese shredder all day.

    • 101
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11cynicanoldicusseanx3fuhrersceneLoli_SugthatstingsMrNickJC
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    ninja_raaawrLe_RatheadIcumonboobz______seanx3QuagSwaggeredsoundsbritedeuceplatypus____Favstar_NSFW
    EatGarbageVocabuLarry
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    You guys are pretty nice to me considering I'm making room in my freezer for you.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11life_suckerSilleVioCarmel_Colemanconsprcy_carrotonedavedeepLoingirder
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinSilleVioAntonioSimonJrcynicanoldicusCubicalRonEmBatatatheawkwardfulrob1792__________
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    My good deed for the day will be to duct tape the mouths of small children and watch their parents collapse in relief then bow down to me.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    NicholaMaColaviolet_heartinlife_suckercynicanoldicusJumpingJesusHLoli_SugthatstingsMrNickJC
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinseanx3djr_102PodyTheCirate____shesananteaterTrigg3rHippielaffytakkyFavstar500Favs
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Now that I'm single, I can tweet about my vagina with no shame!


    VAAAAAAAAGINA!





    Vagina.





    Vagine.





    And... done.




    Boobs.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinlife_suckerSilleViotheawkwardfulrob1792__________mooyainiLoli_Sugthatstings
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinrob1792__________ninja_raaawrPodyTheCirate____sdurbin23Favstar_NSFWlaffytakkyjustdoitnowok
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    I'm just a girl, standing in front of a microwave, asking it to feed me.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    NicholaMaColaviolet_heartintheawkwardfulrob1792__________Loli_SugthatstingsMrNickJCCorey814
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinSilleVioOhimeSamaXIIIMyHairyLife______Favstar500Favss_cLaN07laffytakkyletsdothis29______
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    I'll make your day, I don't give a fuck.

    • 59
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinSilleViotheawkwardfulrob1792__________hotforamishrayerayemachinewillarkatoneapril_mclean
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinapril_mcleanpseudofauxmeFavstar_NSFWkati3st33nLoli_SugPandoras_Shadowninja_raaawr
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory.

    • 54
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinskullpuppy11crazyjet379mr_malakasrob1792__________mooyainiLoli_Sugthatstings
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinrob1792__________Favstar500Favsrysox80PodyTheCirate____420PartyNowweedshoutsTrigg3rHippie
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    Don't act like I don't stalk you.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    NicholaMaColaviolet_heartinCubicalRonrob1792__________thatstingsMrNickJCxXxToxicMamaxXx__PretzelNY
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    violet_heartinCubicalRonTeenyLady________MyLoveGoesDown____Loli_SugjellyfishpoeReTwittterrrThatDangIndian
  • Fruit_Slinger
      Loser @Fruit_Slinger

    I hung out with a gay person and I didn't catch it.
    I just wanted some of you rednecks to know that.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    violet_heartinNickGyverzeldaA_SKimKardashsToeskullpuppy11SilleViotheawkwardfulSarcastic_Queer
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    skullpuppy11Sarcastic_Queercrazyjet379GemOfWisdomrob1792__________stevensladydjr_102CalanSaxer
@Fruit_Slinger

@Fruit_Slinger

actually a loser. not a parody account. retweets are totally endorsements.