So it's come to this. An honest business man can't even scoop up 18 million tonnes of sea creatures to be mashed and fed to Europe's cats.

Of course, now the dangerous #occupy people can be held forever without charge. Ahh USA, how like Stalin's Russia you have become.

Young people. Full points. Well done -- #OccupyAirSpace: - Protesters Launch 'Robokopter' Drone http://t.co/mkovgRZ2 via @youtube

Now I have been bulllied into commenting about television proclivities on @ltdnews I am crying in the shower as I write this.

I would say, if you need an "Inbound marketing success kit" you're pretty much fucked. Also, stop trolling me. You dumb parasites.

@andrew_haddow That's communism, old son. Socialism strives for health care, housing transport 4 taxes. @therealroseanne @isobelwaller

When tattooing your eyelids, slip a teaspoon up underneath so the needle doesn't go through your eyeball. #russiancrimetattootip

When I lived there, St Kilda was awash with junkies dealers gangsters and pimps. It's gone downhill since then, though.

@rupertmurdoch Still, we have to let this creaking old "democracy" run its course, eh Rupe? @dannolan

So many of our battlers, scraping by on a quarter mill a year, die alone. Face down in a small mountain of pure cocaine

Armstrong and Oprah should try to figure out how to make some money out of this.

@ben_hr You fucking ratnest of broken scruples you take that back! I am the second cheapest comedian in the country, and possibly the world!

Simple funeral idea 1: Sew a live chicken inside my chest, sew my corpse inside a live horse, and let the horse run towards the setting sun.

About to block @davecallantwit Srsly

Plus, if we stop using money, really rich greedy bastards will have a lot of fuck all and no friends. #thatwouldcheermeup

Good idea, @dannolan Make churches run like any other business - the market will decide the one true god.

Shortly in shops, @kingstribune featuring me and @dannolan and @benpobjie and @dragonista and so on. Famous, and talented. #notbothsomuch

Australian politics is now officially the most fucked thing in my orbit. I may ram a missile into myself so my path avoids it in future.

Apple's problem of too much money - $98 Billion too much - I have an idea. Pay the fucking workers who make your stuff. Health plans too.

Robert Doyle just dragged the queen away in a choke hold. You see Melbourne? This is why you can't have nice things.