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I like when a girls shirt is so tight , I can see her heart beating
My orgasm face is the same as my I have to sneeze face
I want my ashes put in a bullet ....
I learned how to play guitar just so I could touch a G-string
I won't be happy until I'm so drunk that I wobble like a penguin
I'm 4 followers away from being validated...
Can you star an avi?
I miss you........I guess I should have better aim
Jeffery Daumer is such a hipster... He was eating people before it was cool
The funnier you guys are.... The more my battery dies...
The person that twitter says is like me has 2 followers........that's about right
Please stalk me.....I would boost my self esteem
Jesus probably smelled bad...
If you've never wrapped a piece of bacon around a hot dog...........shame on you
I'm so broke, if you rob me , it'll just be practice...
If I reach 100 followers , I'm gonna shit my pants..........just kidding....I don't wear pants
If I retweet you , you'll get 0.0 followers...
I'm way funnier than you...... Why do you have 10 times the amount of followers than me?
What does Leslie Nielsen have to do with ratings?
Can you imagine my brilliant tweet only getting 1 star?? ....~ me & everyone else on twitter