URGENT PRAYER REQUEST: My best friend's father collapsed last night and is unconscious in the hospital with a 107*F fever.

Companies, please stop advertising your products by treating women as mere pornographic objects. Men, stop making them want to.

Anyone have a loved one serving in Iraq or Afghanistan? My mom has a bunch of care package materials and nobody to send them to.

Making laws in a hurry because "SOMEBODY HAS TO DO SOMETHING!!!" is a great idea. After all, the Patriot Act worked out so well.

@owillis The jingle bells! Oh God the jingle bells! They jingled ALL THE F***ING WAY! The horror. I hear them in my sleep! #XmasWarDiary

RT @ihackinjosh: Dear kids, There is NO Santa Claus. Those presents are from your parents. "With love, WikiLeaks"

The fact that anyone is seriously contemplating minting a trillion dollar coin is proof America has jumped the shark.

I'm glad Osama Bin Laden met with justice, but all the rah-rah nationalism and triumphalism his death has produced is nauseating to me.

Part of me wishes Mr. Rogers could offer his gentle wisdom in response to this atrocity. Another part is glad he was spared witnessing it.

@joelmchale I think so Brain, but where can we find a gorilla suit to rent during a holiday?

Obamacare is small potatoes. My pipe dream? Overturning Wickard v. Filburn. http://t.co/Lmt2pd8f

BREAKING: Alleged mother of Bieber's child says they enjoyed a Godfather pizza before making a baby baby baby oh. #HermanCainAllegations

Folks in my Twitter stream are debating whether Led Zeppelin or the Clash is the most overrated band. Sorry, that prize goes to the Beatles.

@daveweigel Except it's hard to be joyful when you consider how many unfortunate people could have been helped if he'd been philanthropic.

Paging @daveweigel... RT @freecialis: Twitter is a website where respected journalists go to become bad stand-up comics from the 80s

When Mayor Luke emerges, if he sees his shadow, we'll have to put up with him for the rest of his term. (It's a famous rodent thing.)

I'd seriously consider watching a debate moderated by Jon Stewart. Do away with the phony politeness, too. Let him cut through the BS.

@barackobama Perhaps GM and Chrysler shouldn't still exist. Why reward failure in the market? It only hurts consumers.

@julieborowski In the event of a zombie apocalypse, Ron Paul supporters would be forming extermination militias and kicking undead ass. ;)

@senrandpaul Keep up the good work. I'm sure your father is very proud of you. I #StandwithRand.