Dear God, can we trade you a Justin Bieber for a Bob Marley?

Would you rather be starred or retweeted? Me, I'd rather be fucked.

Study suggest insomnia leads to masturbation.

Since when is having a vagina not enough. So you have to have talent now, huh?

If you're happy and you know it, post your boobs. (via @tequilatuesday) http://yfrog.com/j9kedj

Life is like a box of tampons. You realize it's empty when it's far to late.

When life gives you tongue, make him eat you out.

Do you wanna come in? * [little voice between my legs]

Hey let's all have a shot of vodka and do a line of coke and stuff

I wanna be drunk on you.

I love hate fucking myself.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich

There's no amount of coke that would make me sleep with you. Now meth, well that's a different story...

How long before you take your pants off? I just need to know for reference point next time.

I can hold my liqour. I can hold yours too but you probably won't get it back.

My eyes feels right at home in front of your tits.

I don't need any validation from anyone really.


#PlzRT

I hate to say it. But some of us on here used to be alot more funnier. Not me, I was never funny.

My face is entirely pink right now. Trying out my makeup for Halloween. And no I'm not going as a vagina.

Some people are an acquired taste.