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Take me down to Animorph City where the girls have beaks and there's wolves with titties.
GENTLEMAN call me your favorite sweatpants cuz you adore me & will wear my ass/crotch out, yet refuse 2 be seen in public with me
You awake to find that dogs have evolved into bipeds, with speech capabilities. Turn to page 3 to fight them, or page 72 to get dog married.
Did u know that if a cat rubs itself between ur ankles it is marking u for purgatory? Happened 2 u? Ur name is not in the book of life.
A good way to break up with someone is to say, "If Ashanti & Ja Rule can't make it why should we even try?" Then frown all pensive like.
why isn't there a black metal history month
Freak in the streets, ethereal light bringer in the sheets.
I cruise up on my longboard, P.O.D's "Youth Of A Nation" blaring from my Beats By Dre headphones.
"Fuck school," I shout to no one.
AND i will always love u: the most passionate song ever written about two vowels in love? PROBABLY
When Shigeru Honda, founder of the car company, finally retired in his 90s, a reporter asked why. “Because I can no longer fuck," he replied
Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give me your Neiman Marcus card & I'll let you eat me out.
GENTLEMAN: Call me Febreze because pretty soon you'll be obsessively wanting me to squirt all over your sheets.
What Is Kreayshawn And How Do We Keep It Out Of Schools
Capitalism indoctrinates the principle of scarcity on such a level that some start believing love is a finite resource to be competed for
I'm gonna have a little brother in 4 months & I get to pick his middle name. I like Fuckerman, Dildonger or Regulardo but open 2 anything.
"Ugh this apple juice tastes like piss!" - My Dad, totally owned after drinking my piss once when I was 5 & we went camping & I peed in cup
LOGGED ON AND READY TO DISAGREE ABOUT EVERYTHING *kisses bicep*
Things To Never Let Your Dog Have:
• Grapes or Raisins
• Tomatoes or Basil
• Onions or Garlic
• Anal Sex
• High Interest Loans