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  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    I have excommunicated all the people who have told me they think I smoke too much weed. Sorry I'm not sorry I dated you for your Volcano

    • 11
    • FAVS
    TheDudesAbidingAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    I have been living off of string cheese and chocolate chip cookies in case you were wondering how healthy my lifestyle is rn

    • 8
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    I can generally bring myself to a full orgasm in under 30 seconds. Is this a hidden talent?

    • 5
    • FAVS
    jalbusAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    My dad already changed the clocks back an hour bc "It's fuckin psychotic! It's simple mind control. The government can't tell you the time!"

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Jay__ZimTheDudesAbidingAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    TheDudesAbiding
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    Why do I always love things that are destined to hurt me in the long run? Why can't I quit you, Sour Punch Blue Raspberry Straws?? :(

    • 4
    • FAVS
    TheDudesAbidingAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    TheDudesAbiding
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    Next time I "fall in love" super hard and super fast, plz slap me with a print-out of The Three Phases Of Abusive Narcissistic Relationships

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    thetobbierts
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    I am often startled by my own shadow or the hair on my head touching my body. If you ever try to scare me for fun I could possibly drop dead

    • 3
    • FAVS
    fastingcannibalAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    I have a love/hate relationship with my own pubes. I'm indifferent to everyone else's.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    missmaynWritingWilkieMojaveFoneBooth
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    I feel like this is a sacred place where I am free to express my true inner teenager

    • 3
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralWritingWilkieAvatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    So this birth control is working super well for me. I don't actually need it for.. baby stopping.. or whatever.. You guys my boobs are huge

    • 3
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    "SUck. A. Dick." is how I've been closing most of my emails lately. It has a nice ring to it and really drives the message home

    • 2
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralTheDudesAbiding
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    TheDudesAbiding
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    Here's the thing about me, I used to trust everybody and now I trust no one. Thanks, X-files and douchebags. <3

    • 3
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    If you're gonna cheat with the same woman through TWO relationships, maybe just be with that woman then? Idk just a suggestion.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralAvatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    What is this bullshit thing called "lust"? Fuck your lust

    • 2
    • FAVS
    MojaveFoneBoothAvatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    All of my tweets are sponsored by what my mother refers to as "The Grass"

    • 2
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralWritingWilkie
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    PRO TIP: If you're tryna stick your dick in me DO NOT broadcast your insecurities on the first date. May the odds be ever in your favor.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    darth__mouthAvatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    Dear Jesus, can you please send me a HANDSOME (good teeth, stands up straight) SMART (hates video games) TALL (er than me) dude to love? ty

    • 2
    • FAVS
    darth__mouthWritingWilkie
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    Just a friendly reminder to stop asking me out on FB if you ever actually wanna date me

    • 2
    • FAVS
    WritingWilkieAvatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    No offense, but I hate you. Don't take it personally. You're just totes terrible and I literally can't stand the thought of you. No offense.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    TheDudesAbidingAvatar_unknown_48
  • gaadgette
      Gadget @gaadgette

    Calorie would be a really pretty name for a girl

    • 2
    • FAVS
    mystikkspiralAvatar_unknown_48
@gaadgette

@gaadgette

Ladies is pimps, too.