Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Trick to get followers: be really fucking awesome.
Just took the worst poop ever. I ran out of toilet paper, AND heard my parents doing it.
I follow people that hate white people, because we really do suck.
When I say cheesy things to you, it's not because I want to hear cheesy things in return. It's because I want you to make me some macaroni.
Shouldn't Captain America be fat and lazy?
On the back of a dollar bill it says "IN GOD WE TRUST ONE DOLLAR" I dunno, I'd probably trust him with more than one.
I stopped petting my cat, and she looked really hurt and abandoned.
SO WE'RE PLANNING A TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD.
You can tell my dog's a girl because of the high pitched-slightly retarded noise she makes when excited.
My elementary school had to stop having a pajama day because of that time I showed up naked.
My brother once tried to search "cool" as a music genre, in case you were wondering why he's dead.
I don't like rap that makes sense.
Curiosity made the cat kill my inner child.
I don't know why people hate me, I'm so much better at it.
Please follow me without favoriting my tweets because it doesn't affect my self-esteem at all.
Just added "poopzilla" to my phone's dictionary. I don't think I need to do anything else today.
That cross tattoo will look really good in Hell, brah.
I wouldn't doubt cats secretly call each other dawg.
My mother and I need to have a talk. She hasn't printed off a single one of my tweets and put them on the fridge. :(
Is dignity better than free ice cream?
Yeah, I didn't think so either.