You can put that 2 points down to Ayia Napa 2011. #yourewelcomeryan It could have been 10 were it not for McGivern.

Imagine being a parent and genuinely being like, "so are we both on board with Fionnuala if it's a girl?"

Muse are doing pyrotechnic checks for a concert in Coventry and the whole city thinks the Ricoh Arena is up in flames. Great stuff.

I'm looking forward to Thursday more than I've ever looked forward to another Thursday in my life

Ah who the fuck is this Cian Twomey fella?

Ireland gives UK 7 points, UK gives us 1. So now they owe us 12 things!! #lol #UpTheRa #fuck

Elijah Wood ruins Green Street for me. Frodo has no place in football

Like, I badly want us to win. More than anything else I've wanted this week.

IS THIS FUCKIN' CASCADA?

@oldmanweldon Just think of the Drake lyrics.

“@nme: Puddle Of Mudd frontman Wes Scantlin arrested for domestic violence  http://bit.ly/10Mf4DZ ”

Apparently she fuckin' hates him

How funny would it be if @carras16 was actually Paul Scholes playing an elaborate prank on us all

@hermit_thrush I fucking hope you fuck soon. You have the power to inspire a generation of fuckers

Kim Kardashian's pregnancy affects us all in different ways. I, for example, might kill myself.

I hope I don't tweet about XBoxes & PS7s when I'm 30. I hope I don't tweet at all, for that matter.

Hahahaha.

Phil Bardsley pictured lying in £50 notes on casino floor  http://bit.ly/10NoEBR  via @mailonline

The Greeks have taken Stacey Soloman!

Graham Norton should win the Eurovision for his commentary, to be honest. So, so funny. Just called the German girl an idiot😂

Ryan Dolan is on a flight as we speak. #Ryanair

It's not a bad fuckin' song, all things considered.