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  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Whenever someone says, "Got a minute?" I know I've just lost half hour of my life that I won't get back.

    • 905
    • FAVS
    drubicabraHonest_Serenity__B1gBrainsMcGeeWhervrIMayRoamSpankMeIm0tyTheSnideOneSmokinHotStonermstluvstrinkets
    • 452
    • RETWEETS
    ginasays43WhervrIMayRoamCTotusekSpankMeIm0tySmokinHotStonermstluvstrinketsstellarella77Midlifecrisis18
    anjadrischGodDammitDanMr_Clean69________mojo_bones_kevnastokellysdf
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it.

    I wish I could make this up.

    • 784
    • FAVS
    drubicabrajunkyard_jakeMystique1975motrboatrsoeightiesgirlPumpkinPieablezero3_benzRunwayDan
    • 379
    • RETWEETS
    motrboatrPumpkinPieableScottCottoszero3_benzRunwayDanginasays43poshbirdgabipseudofauxme
    Stevie_TalkWildeThingylloydrangadambationDrinkingatWork
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The other night I was practicing being sexy in front of the mirror and the cat fell off the bathroom counter, laughing.

    • 741
    • FAVS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoamTortilla_NazifazdogfotogSpankMeIm0tycalluptomebatsflywestBrowneyed_mama
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamfazdogfotogSpankMeIm0tyBrowneyed_mamaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotDarthRyan_Moemontes
    The_MentalystJustKeddingCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaSlipCarefullyBoomBamBunny
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Love is having an entire conversation with one look.

    • 609
    • FAVS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoamefeksampingpinkmoon_33mstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18ambienbabeSquizbot
    • 302
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsSquizbotMoemontesHeronSaysParisLoren__nicole96Istonedaily420
    warhorse76inky37____________QuickandSisithedailymarker
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Your avi looked innocent enough, but your TL looks like the back alley behind the porn store where the nasty stuff happens.

    • 573
    • FAVS
    drubicabrafannypatchl1zerdWhervrIMayRoamTortilla_NaziSpankMeIm0tymstluvstrinketsBrowneyed_mama
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    l1zerdWhervrIMayRoamSpankMeIm0tyBrowneyed_mamaktemp__xoMidlifecrisis18chrishouse39xosm
    McMcmadmacmellimellebrothasoul________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know it's time to call it quits when the voices in your head sit you down for an intervention.

    • 517
    • FAVS
    WhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18silverwinteroakambienbabeSquizbotMoemontesPretzelNYJCordova3
    • 195
    • RETWEETS
    ambienbabeSquizbotMoemontesAmbissSjhWindPushedGrassFloppyOnionTessa_Raeeee20poskiii
    Carmel_ColemanSlayerSays________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    It's not gay if you support gay rights.

    It isn't.

    • 475
    • FAVS
    drubicabraMcDonaldVMSWhervrIMayRoamlacrossemom5Tortilla_NaziSpankMeIm0tygeo_teiraTweetsByTheTony
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    McDonaldVMSWhervrIMayRoamBadWolfGeekBigmonkey0000lacrossemom5Tortilla_NaziBatmanc_Midlifecrisis18
    Voiceofgarthjohngaysee
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I tried being a vegan once ... it was the worst lunch of my life.

    • 451
    • FAVS
    drubicabral1zerdPukingBuffalobadge_madgeTortilla_Nazizinni426SpankMeIm0tymstluvstrinkets
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    Tortilla_NaziSpankMeIm0tymstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18SquizbotMoemontesAmbissSjhCheekymuch
    junejuly12KingPatrick24
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know you're overdoing it when the drag queen says, "Honey, bring it down a notch."

    • 424
    • FAVS
    TheKyleHardydrubicabral1zerdTortilla_NaziSpankMeIm0tymstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18betty0674
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    drubicabrafavstar_historySpankMeIm0tyMidlifecrisis18betty0674SquizbotMoemontesWittySassBasket
    SlayerSays________jeffporper
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I heard a pretty young thing say, "That's gay." I said, "No, that's stupid. This is gay..." and proceeded to criticize her outfit.

    • 398
    • FAVS
    spoiledvicTheKyleHardyimbarbiebishDeAndreSydnordrubicabrajunkyard_jakeWhervrIMayRoamSmokinHotStoner
    • 171
    • RETWEETS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18betty0674SquizbotMoemontesDumbConfessionsclaire_cb29
    UghNotAgain
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Q: Why Tweet?
    A: Because it makes others happy, and keeps me from going up the bell tower with something with a telescopic sight.

    • 402
    • FAVS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoamAggieMT94LazloGustoTortilla_NaziMidlifecrisis18ambienbabebetty0674
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamTortilla_NaziMidlifecrisis18WarriorSatyrbetty0674SquizbotMoemontesnonster7
    GinRumMemeaculpau27
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    There's a fine line between "depressed" and "barely contained ball of compressed and suppressed rage."

    • 363
    • FAVS
    drubicabraPumpkinPieableWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18e_skalaambienbabeCarolMoraaSquizbot
    • 130
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamfavstar_historymess_medicatedambienbabeCarolMoraaWarriorSatyrSquizbotMoemontes
    nerfspur
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    If you dudes think you have it hard with women, try dating a gay boy who acts like a woman and has all the testosterone of a man.

    • 378
    • FAVS
    drubicabrajunkyard_jakeWhervrIMayRoamTortilla_NaziShowUrDimplesMidlifecrisis18ambienbabeSquizbot
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18Squizbotchar_is_aptTINY_TOESIES______mbruin95Anon_o_MomTeejayRush
    GregMillaEFFFFFFYOU________osigat
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Yes, I am gay ... but I am not "dressing my pets in Christmas clothes" gay.

    • 335
    • FAVS
    drubicabraTortilla_NazimstluvstrinketsSmokinHotStonermiller_tmcynic98ShowUrDimplesgreeneyedmomsta
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    miller_tmShowUrDimplesgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotAmbissSjhHedvabPaulConUK
    flukynessMyTrueStory328
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Ladies, if we open the door for you, it's not "oppressing the matriarchy." We're just being polite and considerate, as our mama told us.

    • 312
    • FAVS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18missamandaSquizbotMoemontesJCordova3
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamWarriorSatyrSquizbotMoemontesLetmebethepearlAmbissSjhBrytanHnaomialbitz
    DawnLovesZombie
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    "Sir, you'll have to change those gym clothes" "Why?" "The other patrons have complained they can see the Hello Kitty jockstrap."

    • 294
    • FAVS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoamTortilla_NazigreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotMoemontesJCordova3
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotCallMeWhenSoberinsinuatemeTMacinizzleTeeJay0911
    ChiefTwittler
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    No matter where you go, there you are ... so you might as well deal with your baggage.

    • 268
    • FAVS
    drubicabraPumpkinPieablesorayashahbazTrina679ginasays43Midlifecrisis18RieMcAzmissymack1
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    PumpkinPieableginasays43RieMcAzmissymack1missamandaSquizbotMoemontesbenittto12
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The new receptionist rolls her eyes like a 14-year-old popular girl when someone says something dumb. I like her already.

    • 270
    • FAVS
    drubicabraginasays43WhervrIMayRoamTortilla_NaziMicheleLeighspinkmoon_33jaynecomplainsmstluvstrinkets
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    ginasays43WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18SquizbotMoemontesFavstar250soniadimaio68
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Grow a pair. Say hi to her. She may say no, but she may also say yes and change your life.

    • 194
    • FAVS
    drubicabraWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18dodhyaimaSquizbotMoemontesDumbConfessionsTINY_TOESIES______
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    WhervrIMayRoamSquizbotMoemontesatif57soniadimaio68BrytanHTeejayRushAlessandra__456
    R15S5clemwin__________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Another day of smiling and nodding and pretending they're intelligent while I fix their stuff behind their backs.

    • 225
    • FAVS
    drubicabraMidlifecrisis18SquizbotMoemontesDumbConfessionsTINY_TOESIES______mbruin95Mela_De
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    SquizbotSteveDutzysoniadimaio68theawkwardfuldrunknerdproBtrenholm_mrtruthandsoulTheAngryMailGuy
    God__Damn_Robin
@GayDeceiver

@GayDeceiver
Pro

Did you read my name? Says it all.