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  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Whenever someone says, "Got a minute?" I know I've just lost half hour of my life that I won't get back.

    • 948
    • FAVS
    GloGurLLASwann07mic_mac_moevsedlacek19Toxicvixonjl1hayesLadyLizbmonkeyHeSlimedMeRay
    • 474
    • RETWEETS
    ToxicvixonannathemoodyvinfuryrmoultoncapitalShipInTheKnightTampaBayMommacoalslagAGreaterMonster
    anjadrischGodDammitDanMr_Clean69________mojo_bones_kevnastokellysdf
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it.

    I wish I could make this up.

    • 824
    • FAVS
    GloGurL_jennjennRafflesWordKellieLouise8__FeenohmenalNick_DeBrincatphoebelovejoyjjbauerx3
    • 400
    • RETWEETS
    The_BigSqueezeShanerificusToken_Geezerminnie_in_pink7HiddleDeeDeevinfuryTampaBayMommacoalslag
    Stevie_TalkWildeThingylloydrangadambationDrinkingatWork
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The other night I was practicing being sexy in front of the mirror and the cat fell off the bathroom counter, laughing.

    • 772
    • FAVS
    GloGurLLASwann07mic_mac_moeToxicvixonTw1tter_K1ttenHeSlimedMeRayvinfurycoalslag
    • 300
    • RETWEETS
    LASwann07ToxicvixonvinfurycoalslagCrazyJayney_FancyNancyAnnCrooow1WindPushedGrass
    Cheetoe4The_MentalystKedxrCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaSlipCarefullyBoomBamBunny
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Love is having an entire conversation with one look.

    • 629
    • FAVS
    GloGurLLASwann07vinfurycarlykendarda_berryTampaBayMommacoalslagAGreaterMonster
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    vinfurydarda_berryTampaBayMommacoalslagmbruin95ToxicvixonJetersevennikole_so_rad
    warhorse76inky37____________QuickandSisithedailymarker
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Your avi looked innocent enough, but your TL looks like the back alley behind the porn store where the nasty stuff happens.

    • 589
    • FAVS
    GloGurLHiddleDeeDeevinfurycoalslagjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterNaughtyBritchesmadmadhobbit
    • 219
    • RETWEETS
    vinfurycoalslagjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterpraisecheeseWindPushedGrassSugaspunMistal1zerd
    McMcmadmacmellimellebrothasoul________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know it's time to call it quits when the voices in your head sit you down for an intervention.

    • 532
    • FAVS
    GloGurLjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterLupster17CrazyJayney_coalslagCrashTestDrummyTeejayRush
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    johnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterCrazyJayney_coalslagplanetjaxBeer4AGoodTimeWheelTodminealone6
    Carmel_ColemanSlayerSays________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    It's not gay if you support gay rights.

    It isn't.

    • 496
    • FAVS
    GloGurLcookiesnweedonce_fabulousTampaBayMommacoalslagAGreaterMonsterDirtyHarryBDsgtpd75
    • 199
    • RETWEETS
    once_fabulousTampaBayMommacoalslag_skysailingRaggleFragglezzKemie_08WindPushedGrassCrashTestDrummy
    Voiceofgarthjohngaysee
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I tried being a vegan once ... it was the worst lunch of my life.

    • 466
    • FAVS
    GloGurLTampaBayMommadruisiuilmadmadhobbitStcyBnsnjimmy_sharpecpsemplesirencosplay
    • 153
    • RETWEETS
    TampaBayMommaRaggleFragglezzRusty_SwillStcyBnsnWindPushedGrasscoalslagSugaspunMistaTortilla_Nazi
    junejuly12KingPatrick24
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know you're overdoing it when the drag queen says, "Honey, bring it down a notch."

    • 444
    • FAVS
    GloGurLcoalslagimdarrenmrSpdrman59bearcub577madmadhobbitPerezAleisha_iLadyBird
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagimdarrenmrSpdrman59pupbroofdogStcyBnsnLs_WayWindPushedGrasssaysshona
    SlayerSays________jeffporper
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I heard a pretty young thing say, "That's gay." I said, "No, that's stupid. This is gay..." and proceeded to criticize her outfit.

    • 424
    • FAVS
    GloGurLcoalslagthink_tronmadmadhobbitWindPushedGrassMaryKateLivelywittwitbaristaCrashTestDrummy
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagthink_tronWindPushedGrassCrashTestDrummyCheetoe4armyantstudiosWheelTodjunejuly12
    WindPushedGrassUghNotAgain
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Q: Why Tweet?
    A: Because it makes others happy, and keeps me from going up the bell tower with something with a telescopic sight.

    • 410
    • FAVS
    GloGurLCrazyJayney_madmadhobbitpupbroofdogWindPushedGrasscoalslagCrashTestDrummyGregHenchman
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    CrazyJayney_RaggleFragglezzpupbroofdogLs_WayWindPushedGrasscoalslagWhervrIMayRoamTortilla_Nazi
    GinRumMemeaculpau27
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    There's a fine line between "depressed" and "barely contained ball of compressed and suppressed rage."

    • 367
    • FAVS
    coalslagCrashTestDrummyhotcakeprincessGregHenchmandrubicabraPumpkinPieableWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagWhervrIMayRoamfavstar_historymess_medicatedambienbabe__CarolMoraaJokerSatyrSquizbot
    nerfspur
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    If you dudes think you have it hard with women, try dating a gay boy who acts like a woman and has all the testosterone of a man.

    • 387
    • FAVS
    coalslagreallyheavycakeCrashTestDrummyTeejayRushcoconutsSTLWheelTodlasergirl70SugaspunMista
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagCrashTestDrummyWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18Squizbotchar_is_aptTINY_TOESIES______mbruin95
    GregMillaEFFFFFFYOU________osigat
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Yes, I am gay ... but I am not "dressing my pets in Christmas clothes" gay.

    • 355
    • FAVS
    coalslagasiananomalymadmadhobbitHalfBloodSquibWindPushedGrassaerin_monsteririshgirl2828wittwitbarista
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagRaggleFragglezzWindPushedGrassbranderzyCrashTestDrummyCheetoe4WheelTodSugaspunMista
    flukynessMyTrueStory328
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Ladies, if we open the door for you, it's not "oppressing the matriarchy." We're just being polite and considerate, as our mama told us.

    • 320
    • FAVS
    Swat_Kattycoalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummyAnokhaNazariyasagemoonstonelasergirl70GregHenchman
    • 92
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamJokerSatyrSquizbotMoemontesLetmebethepearlAmbissSjh
    DawnLovesZombie
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    "Sir, you'll have to change those gym clothes" "Why?" "The other patrons have complained they can see the Hello Kitty jockstrap."

    • 300
    • FAVS
    coalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummyCheetoe4lasergirl70GregHenchmandrubicabraWhervrIMayRoam
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotCallMeWhenSoberinsinuateme
    ChiefTwittler
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    No matter where you go, there you are ... so you might as well deal with your baggage.

    • 276
    • FAVS
    coalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummyAnokhaNazariyasagemoonstonehotcakeprincessSugaspunMistaGregHenchman
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    coalslaghotcakeprincessPumpkinPieableginasays43RieMcAzmissymack1missamandaSquizbot
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The new receptionist rolls her eyes like a 14-year-old popular girl when someone says something dumb. I like her already.

    • 275
    • FAVS
    Swat_KattycoalslagCrashTestDrummySugaspunMistaGregHenchmandrubicabraginasays43WhervrIMayRoam
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagginasays43WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18SquizbotMoemontesFavstar250
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Grow a pair. Say hi to her. She may say no, but she may also say yes and change your life.

    • 205
    • FAVS
    Swat_KattycoalslagCrashTestDrummyAnokhaNazariyasagemoonstoneislandjaimeleeCharmingGrumplasergirl70
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagMJ7175CrashTestDrummyislandjaimeleeCharmingGrumplasergirl70WhervrIMayRoamSquizbot
    R15S5clemwin__________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Another day of smiling and nodding and pretending they're intelligent while I fix their stuff behind their backs.

    • 231
    • FAVS
    coalslagCrashTestDrummyalain_hardyTeejayRushSugaspunMistaGregHenchmandrubicabraMidlifecrisis18
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    coalslagTeejayRushSquizbotSteveDutzysoniadimaio68theawkwardfuldrunknerdproBtrenholm_
    God__Damn_Robin
@GayDeceiver

@GayDeceiver

Carbon-based sentient lifeform living the alternalife