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  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Whenever someone says, "Got a minute?" I know I've just lost half hour of my life that I won't get back.

    • 959
    • FAVS
    ecahZamoraOGSashasingingdoves13DrivelodeonstonedcoldlazyLisabug74bissetts64SFK1986
    • 484
    • RETWEETS
    DoctorQuincyMECynchMooreecahZamoraOGSashaDrivelodeonstonedcoldlazyLisabug74SFK1986
    astrobudsterGodDammitDanMr_Clean69________mojo_bones_kevnastokellysdf
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it.

    I wish I could make this up.

    • 841
    • FAVS
    stonedcoldlazytgonefishinTmoney68HRTSMRTsquidlordBrookeBeWellLousyBastard_notyourmom_
    • 407
    • RETWEETS
    stonedcoldlazyTmoney68cr8dv8_notyourmom_Lisabug74milesmarkovicfaizziyThe_BigSqueeze
    Stevie_TalkWildeThingylloydrangadambationDrinkingatWork
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The other night I was practicing being sexy in front of the mirror and the cat fell off the bathroom counter, laughing.

    • 778
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68TravLeBlanc_notyourmom_Lisabug74StardustforrealfaizziyGloGurLLASwann07
    • 302
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74faizziyLASwann07ToxicvixonvinfurycoalslagCrazyJayney_FancyNancyAnn
    Cheetoe4The_MentalystKedxrCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaSlipCarefullyBoomBamBunny
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Love is having an entire conversation with one look.

    • 637
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68TravLeBlancLisabug74IrynaireneMaySongsBeWithUdeutschheutefaizziythefunlei
    • 318
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74princessjoy1MaySongsBeWithUfaizziythefunleivinfurydarda_berry__TampaBayMomma
    warhorse76inky37____________QuickandSisithedailymarker
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Your avi looked innocent enough, but your TL looks like the back alley behind the porn store where the nasty stuff happens.

    • 595
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68LousyBastardLisabug74deutschheutefaizziythefunleiGloGurLHiddleDeeDee
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    LousyBastardLisabug74faizziyvinfurycoalslagjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterpraisecheese
    McMcmadmacmellimellebrothasoul________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know it's time to call it quits when the voices in your head sit you down for an intervention.

    • 541
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68TravLeBlanc7high7tea7LousyBastardLisabug74RichardNava1deutschheutefaizziy
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    LousyBastardLisabug74RichardNava1faizziyjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterCrazyJayney_coalslag
    Carmel_ColemanSlayerSays________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    It's not gay if you support gay rights.

    It isn't.

    • 503
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_LousyBastardLisabug74milesmarkovicdeutschheutefaizziyGloGurL
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    kawaiikilosLisabug74faizziyonce_fabulousTampaBayMommacoalslag_skysailingRaggleFragglezz
    Voiceofgarthjohngaysee
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I tried being a vegan once ... it was the worst lunch of my life.

    • 473
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74RichardNava1deutschheutefaizziythefunleiGloGurL
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74RichardNava1faizziyTampaBayMommaRaggleFragglezzRusty_SwillStcyBnsnWindPushedGrass
    junejuly12KingPatrick24
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know you're overdoing it when the drag queen says, "Honey, bring it down a notch."

    • 453
    • FAVS
    Tmoney6824skidooAstragaliUSA_notyourmom_Lisabug74deutschheuteBangMyBongobessyvegas
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    _notyourmom_Lisabug74faizziycoalslagimdarrenmrSpdrman59pupbroofdogStcyBnsn
    SlayerSays________jeffporper
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I heard a pretty young thing say, "That's gay." I said, "No, that's stupid. This is gay..." and proceeded to criticize her outfit.

    • 433
    • FAVS
    yaykyleTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_LousyBastardLisabug74whineywhiskypuppylove_apdeutschheute
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    yaykyleTmoney68Lisabug74salehgeezfaizziycoalslagthink_tronWindPushedGrass
    WindPushedGrassUghNotAgain
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Q: Why Tweet?
    A: Because it makes others happy, and keeps me from going up the bell tower with something with a telescopic sight.

    • 415
    • FAVS
    Tmoney6824skidoo7high7tea7LousyBastardLisabug74GloGurLCrazyJayney_madmadhobbit
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74CrazyJayney_RaggleFragglezzpupbroofdogLs_WayWindPushedGrasscoalslagWhervrIMayRoam
    GinRumMemeaculpau27
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    There's a fine line between "depressed" and "barely contained ball of compressed and suppressed rage."

    • 371
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyhotcakeprincessGregHenchman
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagWhervrIMayRoamfavstar_historymess_medicatedambienbabe__CarolMoraaJokerSatyr
    nerfspur
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    If you dudes think you have it hard with women, try dating a gay boy who acts like a woman and has all the testosterone of a man.

    • 391
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagreallyheavycakeCrashTestDrummyTeejayRush
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18Squizbotchar_is_aptTINY_TOESIES______
    GregMillaEFFFFFFYOU________osigat
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Yes, I am gay ... but I am not "dressing my pets in Christmas clothes" gay.

    • 359
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagasiananomalymadmadhobbitHalfBloodSquib
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagRaggleFragglezzWindPushedGrassbranderzyCrashTestDrummyCheetoe4WheelTod
    flukynessMyTrueStory328
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Ladies, if we open the door for you, it's not "oppressing the matriarchy." We're just being polite and considerate, as our mama told us.

    • 325
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_carykaylerozeLaurelleMartinLisabug74Swat_Kattycoalslagsgtpd75
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    LaurelleMartinLisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamJokerSatyrSquizbotMoemontes
    DawnLovesZombie
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    "Sir, you'll have to change those gym clothes" "Why?" "The other patrons have complained they can see the Hello Kitty jockstrap."

    • 304
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummyCheetoe4
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotCallMeWhenSober
    ChiefTwittler
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The new receptionist rolls her eyes like a 14-year-old popular girl when someone says something dumb. I like her already.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_orneryalwaysgreatfox44MSGirl4BamaSummerloveX0GstringGailTravLeBlanc
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    orneryalwaysTravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagginasays43WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    No matter where you go, there you are ... so you might as well deal with your baggage.

    • 281
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancGstringGailLisabug74coalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummy
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslaghotcakeprincessPumpkinPieableginasays43RieMcAzmissymack1missamanda
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Grow a pair. Say hi to her. She may say no, but she may also say yes and change your life.

    • 208
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_Lisabug74Swat_KattycoalslagCrashTestDrummyAnokhaNazariyasagemoonstone
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagMJ7175CrashTestDrummyislandjaimeleeCharmingGrumplasergirl70WhervrIMayRoam
    R15S5clemwin__________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Another day of smiling and nodding and pretending they're intelligent while I fix their stuff behind their backs.

    • 236
    • FAVS
    RohitKohli236yaykyleTmoney68TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyalain_hardy
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    ursaconRohitKohli236Tmoney68Lisabug74coalslagTeejayRushSquizbotSteveDutzy
    God__Damn_Robin
@GayDeceiver

@GayDeceiver

Carbon-based sentient lifeform living the alternalife