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  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Whenever someone says, "Got a minute?" I know I've just lost half hour of my life that I won't get back.

    • 1,014
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodBuluma_MichaelCherylAllin1IndigoHeraldanerdonfireViabhavSinghPetrickSaraOneSmartFellow__
    • 512
    • RETWEETS
    KmPensingeranerdonfirebadmomgenesMcCutty1Lolabug2012LolafuzzlimeTexAblazeJohnnyNopolis
    Thrill_TweeterGodDammitDanMr_Clean69________mojo_bones_kevnastokellysdf
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it.

    I wish I could make this up.

    • 864
    • FAVS
    ParentpainsLilBlueBloodKatarinaFoVayGirl74heavy34Airzona_sina_mahmoodiIndigoHerald
    • 413
    • RETWEETS
    LilBlueBloodanerdonfirePumpkinbabypied2386nkikdbakbitchJustFollownRTstonedcoldlazyTmoney68
    Stevie_GainzWildeThingylloydrangadamrunsfarDrinkingatWork
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The other night I was practicing being sexy in front of the mirror and the cat fell off the bathroom counter, laughing.

    • 797
    • FAVS
    unFinishdObjectPurple_whippedLilBlueBloodTruculent67utoepeeaCherylAllin1roxaroodwMiff6Lorraine
    • 307
    • RETWEETS
    Truculent67anerdonfirekspinks4485fuzzlimeJustFollownRTLisabug74faizziyLASwann07
    Cheetoe4The_MentalystKedxrCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaSlipCarefullyBoomBamBunny
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Love is having an entire conversation with one look.

    • 646
    • FAVS
    ViabhavSinghOneSmartFellow__Spaced_Cowboy00JohnnyNopolisGoldenSpiralsRogueGodkikdbakbitchjannable9
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchsanjusanjay16JustFollownRTLisabug74princessjoy1MaySongsBeWithUfaizziythefunlei
    warhorse76inky37____________QuickandSisithedailymarker
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Your avi looked innocent enough, but your TL looks like the back alley behind the porn store where the nasty stuff happens.

    • 605
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__Spaced_Cowboy00idgaf_987JohnnyNopolisdanlak3EmjayMj2RogueGod
    • 225
    • RETWEETS
    kspinks4485fuzzlimejohngayseeLousyBastardLisabug74faizziyvinfurycoalslag
    McMcmadmacmellimellebrothasoul________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know it's time to call it quits when the voices in your head sit you down for an intervention.

    • 553
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodSpaced_Cowboy00JohnnyNopolisPumpkinbabypieRogueGodCicatrix13Neon_DragonWeed_Hurts
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    Neon_Dragonbeyondthe12thGoldenSpiralsJustFollownRTLousyBastardLisabug74RichardNava1faizziy
    Carmel_ColemanSlayerSays________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    It's not gay if you support gay rights.

    It isn't.

    • 513
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__Spaced_Cowboy00JohnnyNopolisPumpkinbabypieGoldenSpiralsRogueGodjannable9
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    sanjusanjay16JustFollownRTkawaiikilosLisabug74faizziyonce_fabulousTampaBayMommacoalslag
    Voiceofgarthjohngaysee
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I tried being a vegan once ... it was the worst lunch of my life.

    • 490
    • FAVS
    KarlTheFagLilBlueBloodSpaced_Cowboy00busynessshefeelsn0thing1NiteNtheHamptsidgaf_987asteidlwine
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    fuzzlimefricky109sadb0ycakesJohnnyNopolistherussellshawreadingtweets21JustFollownRTLisabug74
    junejuly12KingPatrick24
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I heard a pretty young thing say, "That's gay." I said, "No, that's stupid. This is gay..." and proceeded to criticize her outfit.

    • 444
    • FAVS
    KarlTheFagLilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__Chris_Doucettesadb0ycakesJeanieMacIsaacJohnnyNopolisPumpkinbabypie
    • 189
    • RETWEETS
    sadb0ycakesBrownBear253MeMyselfishNeyeJohnnyNopolisJustFollownRTyaykyleTmoney68Lisabug74
    WindPushedGrassUghNotAgain
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know you're overdoing it when the drag queen says, "Honey, bring it down a notch."

    • 461
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodViabhavSinghJohnnyNopolisPumpkinbabypieRogueGodkikdbakbitchjannable9JustFollownRT
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    ViabhavSinghkikdbakbitch_notyourmom_Lisabug74faizziycoalslagimdarrenmrSpdrman59
    SlayerSays________jeffporper
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Q: Why Tweet?
    A: Because it makes others happy, and keeps me from going up the bell tower with something with a telescopic sight.

    • 422
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__JohnnyNopolisGoldenSpiralsRogueGodjannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    OneSmartFellow__JustFollownRTLisabug74CrazyJayney_RaggleFragglezzpupbroofdogLs_WayWindPushedGrass
    GinRumMemeaculpau27
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    There's a fine line between "depressed" and "barely contained ball of compressed and suppressed rage."

    • 376
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodJohnnyNopolisRogueGodkikdbakbitchJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlanc
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchLisabug74coalslagWhervrIMayRoamfavstar_historymess_medicatedambienbabe__CarolMoraa
    nerfspur
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    If you dudes think you have it hard with women, try dating a gay boy who acts like a woman and has all the testosterone of a man.

    • 397
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__JohnnyNopolisPumpkinbabypieRogueGodJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18Squizbotchar_is_aptTINY_TOESIES______
    GregMillaEFFFFFFYOU________osigat
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Yes, I am gay ... but I am not "dressing my pets in Christmas clothes" gay.

    • 364
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodJohnnyNopolisPumpkinbabypieRogueGodJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlanc
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagRaggleFragglezzWindPushedGrassbranderzyCrashTestDrummyCheetoe4WheelTod
    flukynessTellTheTruthYo
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Ladies, if we open the door for you, it's not "oppressing the matriarchy." We're just being polite and considerate, as our mama told us.

    • 330
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__JohnnyNopolisRogueGodJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_carykayleroze
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    LaurelleMartinLisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamHand2ThroatSquizbotMoemontes
    DawnLovesZombie
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    "Sir, you'll have to change those gym clothes" "Why?" "The other patrons have complained they can see the Hello Kitty jockstrap."

    • 313
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodJohnnyNopolischelleariHeyZeus666EmjayMj2danlak3PumpkinbabypieRogueGod
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    johngayseeLisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18Squizbot
    ChiefTwittler
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    No matter where you go, there you are ... so you might as well deal with your baggage.

    • 286
    • FAVS
    LilBlueBloodJohnnyNopolisRogueGodGoldenSpiralsJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlanc
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    michelle_shirugretchanderson1GoldenSpiralsJustFollownRTLisabug74coalslaghotcakeprincessPumpkinPieable
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The new receptionist rolls her eyes like a 14-year-old popular girl when someone says something dumb. I like her already.

    • 290
    • FAVS
    ParentpainsLilBlueBloodJohnnyNopolisRogueGodJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_orneryalways
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    LilBlueBloodorneryalwaysTravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagginasays43WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinkets
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Grow a pair. Say hi to her. She may say no, but she may also say yes and change your life.

    • 215
    • FAVS
    OneSmartFellow__RogueGodkikdbakbitchSpicedNSugaredGoldenSpiralsSheilaKigutaJustFollownRTTmoney68
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchgretchanderson1SpicedNSugaredGoldenSpiralsScharckJustFollownRTLisabug74coalslag
    R15S5clemwin__________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Another day of smiling and nodding and pretending they're intelligent while I fix their stuff behind their backs.

    • 244
    • FAVS
    ParentpainsBoo_berries_LilBlueBloodOneSmartFellow__JohnnyNopolisRogueGodkikdbakbitchJustFollownRT
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    LilBlueBloodkikdbakbitchursaconRohitKohli236Tmoney68Lisabug74coalslagTeejayRush
    God__Damn_Robin__
@GayDeceiver

@GayDeceiver

Carbon-based sentient lifeform living the alternalife