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  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Whenever someone says, "Got a minute?" I know I've just lost half hour of my life that I won't get back.

    • 964
    • FAVS
    jannable9thesnowball1964laitnenjulianasdreamJustFollownRTecahZamoraOGSashasingingdoves13
    • 486
    • RETWEETS
    julianasdreamJustFollownRTDoctorQuincyMECynchMooreecahZamoraOGSashaDrivelodeonstonedcoldlazy
    anja_drischGodDammitDanMr_Clean69________mojo_bones_kevnastokellysdf
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it.

    I wish I could make this up.

    • 844
    • FAVS
    jannable9JH_CameronJustFollownRTstonedcoldlazytgonefishinTmoney68HRTSMRTsquidlord
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTstonedcoldlazyTmoney68cr8dv8_notyourmom_Lisabug74milesmarkovicfaizziy
    Stevie_TalkWildeThingylloydrangadambationDrinkingatWork
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The other night I was practicing being sexy in front of the mirror and the cat fell off the bathroom counter, laughing.

    • 780
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68TravLeBlanc_notyourmom_Lisabug74Stardustforrealfaizziy
    • 303
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLisabug74faizziyLASwann07ToxicvixonvinfurycoalslagCrazyJayney_
    Cheetoe4The_MentalystKedxrCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaSlipCarefullyBoomBamBunny
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Love is having an entire conversation with one look.

    • 639
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68TravLeBlancLisabug74IrynaireneMaySongsBeWithUdeutschheute
    • 320
    • RETWEETS
    sanjusanjay16JustFollownRTLisabug74princessjoy1MaySongsBeWithUfaizziythefunleivinfury
    warhorse76inky37____________QuickandSisithedailymarker
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Your avi looked innocent enough, but your TL looks like the back alley behind the porn store where the nasty stuff happens.

    • 597
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68LousyBastardLisabug74deutschheutefaizziythefunlei
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    LousyBastardLisabug74faizziyvinfurycoalslagjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterpraisecheese
    McMcmadmacmellimellebrothasoul________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know it's time to call it quits when the voices in your head sit you down for an intervention.

    • 543
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68TravLeBlanc7high7tea7LousyBastardLisabug74RichardNava1
    • 209
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLousyBastardLisabug74RichardNava1faizziyjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterCrazyJayney_
    Carmel_ColemanSlayerSays________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    It's not gay if you support gay rights.

    It isn't.

    • 506
    • FAVS
    jannable9divyasarjoltaJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_LousyBastardLisabug74milesmarkovic
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    sanjusanjay16JustFollownRTkawaiikilosLisabug74faizziyonce_fabulousTampaBayMommacoalslag
    Voiceofgarthjohngaysee
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I tried being a vegan once ... it was the worst lunch of my life.

    • 476
    • FAVS
    jannable9lemmeknwJustFollownRT_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74RichardNava1deutschheute
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLisabug74RichardNava1faizziyTampaBayMommaRaggleFragglezzRusty_SwillStcyBnsn
    junejuly12KingPatrick24
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I heard a pretty young thing say, "That's gay." I said, "No, that's stupid. This is gay..." and proceeded to criticize her outfit.

    • 435
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTyaykyleTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_LousyBastardLisabug74whineywhisky
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTyaykyleTmoney68Lisabug74salehgeezfaizziycoalslagthink_tron
    WindPushedGrassUghNotAgain
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know you're overdoing it when the drag queen says, "Honey, bring it down a notch."

    • 455
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney6824skidooAstragaliUSA_notyourmom_Lisabug74deutschheute
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    _notyourmom_Lisabug74faizziycoalslagimdarrenmrSpdrman59pupbroofdogStcyBnsn
    SlayerSays________jeffporper
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Q: Why Tweet?
    A: Because it makes others happy, and keeps me from going up the bell tower with something with a telescopic sight.

    • 417
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney6824skidoo7high7tea7LousyBastardLisabug74GloGurL
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLisabug74CrazyJayney_RaggleFragglezzpupbroofdogLs_WayWindPushedGrasscoalslag
    GinRumMemeaculpau27
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    There's a fine line between "depressed" and "barely contained ball of compressed and suppressed rage."

    • 372
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyhotcakeprincess
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagWhervrIMayRoamfavstar_historymess_medicatedambienbabe__CarolMoraaJokerSatyr
    nerfspur
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    If you dudes think you have it hard with women, try dating a gay boy who acts like a woman and has all the testosterone of a man.

    • 392
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagreallyheavycakeCrashTestDrummy
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18Squizbotchar_is_aptTINY_TOESIES______
    GregMillaEFFFFFFYOU________osigat
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Yes, I am gay ... but I am not "dressing my pets in Christmas clothes" gay.

    • 360
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagasiananomalymadmadhobbit
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagRaggleFragglezzWindPushedGrassbranderzyCrashTestDrummyCheetoe4WheelTod
    flukynessMyTrueStory328
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Ladies, if we open the door for you, it's not "oppressing the matriarchy." We're just being polite and considerate, as our mama told us.

    • 326
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_carykaylerozeLaurelleMartinLisabug74Swat_Kattycoalslag
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    LaurelleMartinLisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamJokerSatyrSquizbotMoemontes
    DawnLovesZombie
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    "Sir, you'll have to change those gym clothes" "Why?" "The other patrons have complained they can see the Hello Kitty jockstrap."

    • 305
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummy
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotCallMeWhenSober
    ChiefTwittler
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    No matter where you go, there you are ... so you might as well deal with your baggage.

    • 282
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancGstringGailLisabug74coalslagsgtpd75
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLisabug74coalslaghotcakeprincessPumpkinPieableginasays43RieMcAzmissymack1
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The new receptionist rolls her eyes like a 14-year-old popular girl when someone says something dumb. I like her already.

    • 286
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_orneryalwaysgreatfox44MSGirl4BamaSummerloveX0GstringGail
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    orneryalwaysTravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagginasays43WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Grow a pair. Say hi to her. She may say no, but she may also say yes and change your life.

    • 210
    • FAVS
    zealer101JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_Lisabug74Swat_KattycoalslagCrashTestDrummy
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    ScharckJustFollownRTLisabug74coalslagMJ7175CrashTestDrummyislandjaimeleeCharmingGrump
    R15S5clemwin__________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Another day of smiling and nodding and pretending they're intelligent while I fix their stuff behind their backs.

    • 237
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTRohitKohli236yaykyleTmoney68TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummy
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    ursaconRohitKohli236Tmoney68Lisabug74coalslagTeejayRushSquizbotSteveDutzy
    God__Damn_Robin__
@GayDeceiver

@GayDeceiver

Carbon-based sentient lifeform living the alternalife