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  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Whenever someone says, "Got a minute?" I know I've just lost half hour of my life that I won't get back.

    • 996
    • FAVS
    charrrllaaLauraRCarrillo7Fittie_JaceyEmzHopoidrayzzekikdbakbitchmarlana_haleyplasticboer
    • 503
    • RETWEETS
    LauraRCarrillo7EmzHopoiLosaHopoidrayzzekikdbakbitchAnniLouwcbassyoleashalette
    anja_drischGodDammitDanMr_Clean69________mojo_bones_kevnastokellysdf
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it.

    I wish I could make this up.

    • 845
    • FAVS
    kikdbakbitchjannable9JH_CameronJustFollownRTstonedcoldlazytgonefishinTmoney68HRTSMRT
    • 410
    • RETWEETS
    d2386nkikdbakbitchJustFollownRTstonedcoldlazyTmoney68cr8dv8_notyourmom_Lisabug74
    Stevie_TalkWildeThingylloydrangadambationDrinkingatWork
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The other night I was practicing being sexy in front of the mirror and the cat fell off the bathroom counter, laughing.

    • 780
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68TravLeBlanc_notyourmom_Lisabug74Stardustforrealfaizziy
    • 303
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLisabug74faizziyLASwann07ToxicvixonvinfurycoalslagCrazyJayney_
    Cheetoe4The_MentalystHinglishMediumCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaSlipCarefullyBoomBamBunny
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Love is having an entire conversation with one look.

    • 640
    • FAVS
    kikdbakbitchjannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68TravLeBlancLisabug74IrynaireneMaySongsBeWithU
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchsanjusanjay16JustFollownRTLisabug74princessjoy1MaySongsBeWithUfaizziythefunlei
    warhorse76inky37____________QuickandSisithedailymarker
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Your avi looked innocent enough, but your TL looks like the back alley behind the porn store where the nasty stuff happens.

    • 597
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68LousyBastardLisabug74deutschheutefaizziythefunlei
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    LousyBastardLisabug74faizziyvinfurycoalslagjohnnymac_19AGreaterMonsterpraisecheese
    McMcmadmacmellimellebrothasoul________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know it's time to call it quits when the voices in your head sit you down for an intervention.

    • 548
    • FAVS
    Cicatrix13Neon_DragonWeed_Hurtsbeyondthe12thGoldenSpiralsjannable9JustFollownRTTmoney68
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    Neon_Dragonbeyondthe12thGoldenSpiralsJustFollownRTLousyBastardLisabug74RichardNava1faizziy
    Carmel_ColemanSlayerSays________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    It's not gay if you support gay rights.

    It isn't.

    • 506
    • FAVS
    jannable9divyasarjoltaJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_LousyBastardLisabug74milesmarkovic
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    sanjusanjay16JustFollownRTkawaiikilosLisabug74faizziyonce_fabulousTampaBayMommacoalslag
    Voiceofgarthjohngaysee
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I tried being a vegan once ... it was the worst lunch of my life.

    • 480
    • FAVS
    therussellshawHalfBloodSquibreadingtweets21GoldenSpiralsjannable9lemmeknwJustFollownRT_Ms_Moneypenny_
    • 159
    • RETWEETS
    therussellshawreadingtweets21JustFollownRTLisabug74RichardNava1faizziyTampaBayMommaRaggleFragglezz
    junejuly12KingPatrick24
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    You know you're overdoing it when the drag queen says, "Honey, bring it down a notch."

    • 456
    • FAVS
    kikdbakbitchjannable9JustFollownRTTmoney6824skidooAstragaliUSA_notyourmom_Lisabug74
    • 166
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitch_notyourmom_Lisabug74faizziycoalslagimdarrenmrSpdrman59pupbroofdog
    SlayerSays________jeffporper
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    I heard a pretty young thing say, "That's gay." I said, "No, that's stupid. This is gay..." and proceeded to criticize her outfit.

    • 435
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTyaykyleTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_LousyBastardLisabug74whineywhisky
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTyaykyleTmoney68Lisabug74salehgeezfaizziycoalslagthink_tron
    WindPushedGrassUghNotAgain
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Q: Why Tweet?
    A: Because it makes others happy, and keeps me from going up the bell tower with something with a telescopic sight.

    • 417
    • FAVS
    jannable9JustFollownRTTmoney6824skidoo7high7tea7LousyBastardLisabug74GloGurL
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTLisabug74CrazyJayney_RaggleFragglezzpupbroofdogLs_WayWindPushedGrasscoalslag
    GinRumMemeaculpau27
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    There's a fine line between "depressed" and "barely contained ball of compressed and suppressed rage."

    • 373
    • FAVS
    kikdbakbitchJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummy
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchLisabug74coalslagWhervrIMayRoamfavstar_historymess_medicatedambienbabe__CarolMoraa
    nerfspur
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    If you dudes think you have it hard with women, try dating a gay boy who acts like a woman and has all the testosterone of a man.

    • 392
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagreallyheavycakeCrashTestDrummy
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCrashTestDrummyWhervrIMayRoamMidlifecrisis18Squizbotchar_is_aptTINY_TOESIES______
    GregMillaEFFFFFFYOU________osigat
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Yes, I am gay ... but I am not "dressing my pets in Christmas clothes" gay.

    • 360
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagasiananomalymadmadhobbit
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagRaggleFragglezzWindPushedGrassbranderzyCrashTestDrummyCheetoe4WheelTod
    flukynessMyTrueStory328
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Ladies, if we open the door for you, it's not "oppressing the matriarchy." We're just being polite and considerate, as our mama told us.

    • 326
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_carykaylerozeLaurelleMartinLisabug74Swat_Kattycoalslag
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    LaurelleMartinLisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamJokerSatyrSquizbotMoemontes
    DawnLovesZombie
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    "Sir, you'll have to change those gym clothes" "Why?" "The other patrons have complained they can see the Hello Kitty jockstrap."

    • 305
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagsgtpd75CrashTestDrummy
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    Lisabug74coalslagCheetoe4WhervrIMayRoamgreeneyedmomstaMidlifecrisis18SquizbotCallMeWhenSober
    ChiefTwittler
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    No matter where you go, there you are ... so you might as well deal with your baggage.

    • 283
    • FAVS
    GoldenSpiralsJustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_TravLeBlancGstringGail__Lisabug74coalslag
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    michelle_shirugretchanderson1GoldenSpiralsJustFollownRTLisabug74coalslaghotcakeprincessPumpkinPieable
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    The new receptionist rolls her eyes like a 14-year-old popular girl when someone says something dumb. I like her already.

    • 286
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_orneryalwaysgreatfox44MSGirl4BamaSummerloveX0GstringGail__
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    orneryalwaysTravLeBlancLisabug74coalslagginasays43WhervrIMayRoammstluvstrinketsMidlifecrisis18
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Grow a pair. Say hi to her. She may say no, but she may also say yes and change your life.

    • 213
    • FAVS
    kikdbakbitchSpicedNSugaredGoldenSpiralszealer101JustFollownRTTmoney68_Ms_Moneypenny_Lisabug74
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchgretchanderson1SpicedNSugaredGoldenSpiralsScharckJustFollownRTLisabug74coalslag
    R15S5clemwin__________
  • GayDeceiver
      Rusty @GayDeceiver

    Another day of smiling and nodding and pretending they're intelligent while I fix their stuff behind their backs.

    • 238
    • FAVS
    kikdbakbitchJustFollownRTRohitKohli236yaykyleTmoney68TravLeBlancLisabug74coalslag
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    kikdbakbitchursaconRohitKohli236Tmoney68Lisabug74coalslagTeejayRushSquizbot
    God__Damn_Robin
@GayDeceiver

@GayDeceiver

Carbon-based sentient lifeform living the alternalife