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Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub.
I like big butts, but I'll lie about it should the need arise. I don't have Mix-a-lot's level of conviction.
Regardless of what YOU think, your grandkids are going to look at gay marriage the way WE look at separate drinking fountains.
I thought Twitter made me unfollow you... Turns out, you blocked me.
Okaaaay..
We'll continue this discussion in the parking lot at your job
In Europe, they aren't uptight about sexuality & the human body. In America, I'm not allowed in the park anymore.
Women on twitter smash the "Girls aren't funny" stereotype at least 60 times a minute. I love you fuckin' whores! <3
I couldnt 'Bring Sexy Back' with shock paddles, smelling salts and a dozen vatican priests
Everyone interesting I follow is either drunk, or gay, or a broken toy, or just plain mad. No coincidence we washed up on the beach together
My nephew is 27 & still lives home. By the time I was his age, I'd been thru 2 marriages, 3 windshields & 4 abortions.
If you have a cat, aim a laser pointer at your sleeping spouse's cheek. Nothing says 'rise & shine' like puncture wounds
Don't waste months or even years of your life wondering if it is or isn't.
True love will club you both like a fucking baby seal
Another day, another opportunity to fly off the handle & alienate friends & family.
I'm pro marijuana reform & gay marriage, and I smoke neither weed nor cocks.
Just one of those antiquated weirdos who believes in liberty.
Sure you Canadians are polite, but your geese are nasty, hissing cunts.
I'm a great person to tell secrets to 'cause I'm usually 1/4 listening and I kinda don't give a fuck who got an abortion on Christmas Eve.
You don't have to say, 'I love you, too.' but could you at least lose the smirk & eye roll?
Wie schmeckt dir mein herz?
